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Patsy33

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Man "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are two minutes apart" Doctor "Is this her first child?" Man "No you idiot, I'm her husband!"...
07:09 Sat 11th Jun 20228 answers, last by Patsy33 09:52 Sat 11th Jun 2022
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abbeyleigh

Which Should I Wear Outfit For Next Saturday?

Going to miller and Carter then to see stereophonics apparently it going to be hot. https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/coats-jackets/blue-button-crop-blazer/p/819676940...
21:44 Fri 10th Jun 202216 answers, last by sandra4444 12:18 Sat 11th Jun 2022
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Chipchopper

Repairs Depot

When my outside toilet stopped working properly, I got straight on the phone to report the fault and get someone down to repair it. A voice on the phone said, "I think you have dialled the wrong...
10:00 Fri 10th Jun 20223 answers, last by Patsy33 12:47 Fri 10th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I just lost my job as a landscape gardener. They said I was a little rough around the hedges....
07:39 Thu 09th Jun 202213 answers, last by 1ozzy 06:29 Fri 10th Jun 2022
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William51

Doctor, Doctor.

Doctor, Doctor i have a lettuce stuck up my bum. It appears it is just the tip of the iceberg!. Doctor, Doctor. I have swallowed a roll of film.. Take this and see how it develops!....
08:54 Wed 08th Jun 20223 answers, last by brian j john 18:03 Fri 10th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I played hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
07:04 Mon 06th Jun 20224 answers, last by mallyh 11:29 Mon 06th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

When I left home my Mum said don't forget to write. I thought that's unlikely, it's a basic skill isn't it?...
06:57 Sun 05th Jun 20224 answers, last by Patsy33 09:32 Sun 05th Jun 2022
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naomi24

Tui Advertising Holidays …

..: whilst cancelling flights. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw Tui’s latest television advert. They have to be having a laugh! Nothing like taking the public for fools. Would you book with...
07:54 Fri 03rd Jun 202212 answers, last by Peter Pedant 12:49 Fri 03rd Jun 2022
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Chipchopper

Too Much Sun

I noticed the librarian was clearly suffering from sunburn, you'd think he would know better. He was well red...
08:34 Sat 28th May 20223 answers, last by aelmpvw 11:51 Sat 28th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I went for a walk with a girl the other day. When she noticed me we went for a run....
06:48 Wed 25th May 20223 answers, last by Patsy33 12:56 Wed 25th May 2022
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sandyRoe

Cooking Chicken Thighs.

Could they be roasted in the oven? If so, at what temperature and for how long?
16:41 Wed 11th May 202226 answers, last by andres 22:17 Wed 11th May 2022
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William51

Doctor, Doctor.

Doctor, Doctor. Help me, i am getting shorter and shorter. Just wait there and be a little patient. - Doctor, Doctor. I am at deaths door. Do not worry, we will soon pull you through....
08:03 Wed 11th May 20224 answers, last by Patsy33 18:19 Wed 11th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves....
06:08 Sun 08th May 20225 answers, last by Ken4155 12:25 Sun 08th May 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Someone keeps leaving celery and rhubarb on my doorstep. I think I have a stalker....
07:03 Thu 05th May 202214 answers, last by Patsy33 11:23 Thu 05th May 2022
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Misterbean

Answer Is A Cake Or Cookie.

Sharp traffic chaos. Jammy (sharp) dodger?? But dodgem would make more sense....
13:00 Sat 30th Apr 20226 answers, last by Patsy33 14:08 Sat 30th Apr 2022
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Chipchopper

News Just In

A van shed its load of dirty laundry while attempting to overtake an articulated lorry on the motorway. Police were at the scene measuring the skid marks....
07:24 Fri 29th Apr 20224 answers, last by Chipchopper 06:36 Sat 30th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I went to the doctor and said I'm frightened of lapels. He said you've got cholera....
06:31 Fri 29th Apr 20225 answers, last by gulliver1 16:57 Fri 29th Apr 2022
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ladybirder

How Funny Is This? Made Me Smile Anyway;-)

For those who watched " The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe" this should make you laugh. What a character he is....
12:32 Tue 19th Apr 20226 answers, last by Karamia 21:48 Tue 19th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

People used to get agitated if you talked about cosmetic treatments. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow....
07:21 Mon 18th Apr 20225 answers, last by Patsy33 18:11 Mon 18th Apr 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do....
07:31 Tue 05th Apr 202210 answers, last by Patsy33 10:29 Tue 05th Apr 2022

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