ChatterBank0 min ago
Nigel Farage says that voters have a clear choice this week - chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla.
[Courtesy HIGNFY]...
My friend joined a bondage website.
At first he was sent to Mansfield, then Newark and finally Worksop.
I think he is being tied up in Notts....
Electile Dysfunction: The inability to be aroused by any of the parties standing for election....
A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone. The husband is surprised, “Wow, that was quick - usually you women are at it for two hours at least!” “Yeah, well, it was a wrong number"...
My partner likes nothing more than to curl up with a good book. So I have bought him a copy of Advanced Contortionism. I have just bought a new Wigwam, my partner says it looks just like one of our...
Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland.
Not all maths puns are bad, just sum of them
I was chatting a young lady up last night ..... Things were going great, until I asked her where she was from ...... She said, "Oldham". ..... So I did ....... and that's when she slapped me ..........
When I was in the police force, a drunk came up to me and threatened to peee on my wrist. I Told him, "Not on my watch!"...
A gentleman is permitted to join a private club. The initiation consists of holding an unprepared on-the-spot lecture, on a theme starting on a letter which is allotted to him. The man gets an S, and...
I have written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It is very saucy. My son invited his posh friend to his birthday party. I asked him, “What’s your favourite game, Tarquin?” He said,...
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear...
22 Senators voted against including an exception for rape or incest in Alabama’s new draconian abortion law.
not one vagina yet 22 massive fanny’s...
So I get home this morning and my dog is laying on my porch covered in dirt and mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty. Now, my neighbours raised these rabbits and have blue...
The 3 symptoms of laziness
# 1...
Went for a job interview. The boss asked, "How good are you at performing under pressure?" I replied, "Not sure, but I'll have a stab at Bohemian Rhapsody"...
An old man goes to the doctors complaining he hears music every time he puts his hat on The doctor takes the hat into a back room and comes back out after a few minutes. The man puts his hat back on...
I need to find a new source of electricity. I am not happy with my current supplier. I constantly make dreadful clothes for monks. It is a bad habit. I spent six hours yesterday with my partner going...
Q. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? A. I don’t know and I don’t care. Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences. Don’t...
A Lion walks into a restaurant and sits down. The Waiter comes over and says, “Would you like to order a starter, Sir?” The Lion says, “Yes, I’ll have the salmon” “Very good Sir,” says...
