Donate SIGN UP

Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

1 to 20 of 43

1 2 3 Next Last

Avatar Image
1ozzy
Dogs shouldn't join social media. https://ibb.co/YLtjZVj ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
News just in….Three cliff walkers have fallen to their deaths! What are the chances of them all having the same name? ___ I was kissing my girlfriend on the sofa the other night and she says to me,... ...
Avatar Image
stocksman
Something between a Mister and a mattress.
Avatar Image
Rondy
A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person”
The dwarf replied “I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before,... ...
Avatar Image
Chipchopper
This guy  in the pub was telling loads of jokes about Motown singers, and I said to him how many Motown jokes do you know at "least a 100, and that's four tops"
Avatar Image
Chipchopper
I noticed some folks were throwing a fancy dress party on our block, trouble was my girlfriend and I had no costumes to wear. I said to my GF "quick jump up on my back, we will get in somehow". A... ...
Avatar Image
1ozzy
Snails don't play hide and seek  https://ibb.co/KWRjvGq ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
A LOT OF PEOPLE do NOT know what is the actual colour of water.

💧

Well, if you think about it, the answer is very clear.
___

Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He's fully... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
Mum: "Having trouble with your computer, son?"
Son: "My PC says it can't see my printer."
Mum: "I'm not surprised. Look how messy your room is."
___

An older man goes to the Doctor in desire of a... ...
Avatar Image
Old_Geezer
https://youtu.be/Ig3Rfz_mNk0?si=YdjqQfEVM5y9yac9   ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes,"... ...
Avatar Image
Chipchopper
The job on the farm didn't last long, the boss said that "sleeping on the job is unacceptable" so I took him to the tribunal, and said in my defence "well it was you who told me to count those... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
Teacher said to Tommy "Have you got a brother ?"
He said "No miss but my sister has." ___ A prostitute says to Paddy: "Would you like to have sex?"
Paddy says: "Ok, but only of you do it like my wife... ...
Avatar Image
Chipchopper
I was invited to a fancy dress party the other day, and decided to go dressed as a screwdriver. It turned a few heads, I must say! 
Avatar Image
Rondy
I read in the newspaper a tip to use Vodka for cleaning around the house.
I must say it really works too, the more Vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked. ___ I was sitting on the toilet when the... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
If I had 50p for every maths exam I've failed,
I'd have £3.74 now. ___ I can put up with most things from my work-mates; but stealing my digestives?
That just takes the biscuit. ___ I was in a lift when... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
My son's swallowed some of our Scrabble tiles so now we're looking for an A & E.
___

I`ve been told I need to go to hospital for an operation on my knees,I dont know why I cant just walk in like... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
I've been in bed for 20 minutes and l've just remembered, l only came upstairs for a pen. ___ Last night I had a terrible dream that I had to make a thousand pancakes.
I was tossing and turning all... ...
Avatar Image
Rondy
Paddy staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes to avoid waking the wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the... ...

1 to 20 of 43

1 2 3 Next Last