ChatterBank1 min ago
I have spent all day working on my car, it only had reverse gear, I still don’t know why. I am still no further forward. Does anyone know where Concentrate is? I’ve been drinking this lovely...
I also used to date a twin, one had TB and the other had VD. I only ever made love to the one who coughed.
I once dated a girl with a twin
People always use to ask me how i could tell the two apart!
It was simple...
Jill painted her nails purple (usually)
And bob had a penis....
A bloke is watching a film on the TV ,with organ music playing . Suddenly he yells - '' don't enter that church , you daft idiot , it's a trap !!! '' His wife asks him - '' what are you watching ,...
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy ?
I don't know and I don't care....
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from down south is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays $100 bill on the...
My brother is jealous that my handwriting is so much better than his, I think it is just scribbling rivalry. I am sure I saw the Hunchback of Notre Dame this morning. If it wasn’t him, it was a dead...
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Well, one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was...
A farmer has 38 sheep which he tells his collie dog to collect into a pen. When they are all inside the farmer counts them. 'There's 40 sheep here,' he says to the collie who replies, 'I know, I...
I have been having some trouble with my server today, he still refuses to bring me my slippers. The abominable snowman could easily have defeated the Loch Ness monster. Yeti didn’t. I went to the...
My partner is in a right mood because I have filled the bathroom in our new house with bonsai plants.
I don’t know what her problem is.
She said to “go out and get toilet trees”....
I asked a Chinese girl that I met in a Glasgie Sichuan restaurant for her phone number. She said, "Oh Win for Win, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means...
A woman has a vaginal tuck, wakes up to see 3 bunches of flowers in her room. One from the doctor with the message "Every thing went well". The second bunch was from her husband "Get well soon" and...
...While ordering takeaway food and having sex.
Got a singing coach to help me with karaoke but had to get rid of him because he was so selfish. It was always mi mi mi with him.
Q : Why did God bother to create men?
A : Because She couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn
I'll get me coat ......
This morning I went to a meeting of my Premature Ejaculation Support Group.
The receptionist told me "sorry Mr volty it's tomorrow you came to early"
Ok I said "I'll come again tomorrow "...
An Irish woman of a certain age visited her doctor to ask his advice on reviving her lover's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said... 'He won't even take an...
Raised hundreds of pounds at my Bronchitis Support charity event last night.
Everyone coughed up...
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