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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would...
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Rondy
A girl of seven walked into her mother's bedroom and asked her to tell her a bedtime story. The mother wasn't thrilled with the request. She said, "It's almost two in the morning." "I know, Mummy, but...
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piggynose
https://youtu.be/58soSH7aJdc...
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Canary42
One afternoon a benevolent billionaire was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked...
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Rondy
Teacher: "Colin, your composition about “My dog” is exactly like your brothers. Did you copy his?" Colin: "No sir. We've got the same dog."...
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Rondy
Following the news that under 18s can now have the Covid jab Prince Andrew has volunteered to administer 16 and 17 years old with a little prick......
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EdmundD
First Old Man: It's windy isn't it? Second Old Man: No. Thursday Third Old man: Me too. Let's get some beers in....
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Rondy
Wife: "Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that? " Husband: "I would, but I hardly know the woman." ________________ I've never gone to bed with an ugly...
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Rondy
I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant last night and it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: "You all need to start clapping!" "What a weirdo," I thought. Anyway we all started to clap...
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stocksman
My wife said she thought she had put on a 'bit' of weight but she couldn't see the tiny figures one the screen of our old scales so I bought her a ''speak your weight'' machine. Two days later I saw...
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Rondy
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once." "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a...
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Rondy
My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes, Rondy." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, now send me another one."...
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HFJL2020
indian taxi driver went to heaven st peter came out god/yes peter ur taxi is here
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Canary42
My mate crashed his car last night. When the police arrived he told them that the guy he hit was on his phone and drinking a can of beer. The Police officer said "That's not a problem sir, he's...
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Rondy
Down in Cornwall it's often hit with sudden devastation, without warning, and with unusual patterns of destruction. In one case, a house was completely whisked away leaving only the foundation and...
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Rondy
Just seen a burglar using a jemmy to prise open his own windows. I asked: “What are you doing?” He said: “Working from home.”...
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Rondy
After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes, we have, your honour," The...
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Rondy
The BT engineer was on my street and asked me what time it was. I told him it is between 8am and 6:00 pm. You can guess why....
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Rondy
I was showing my mate last night this old racehorse I'd just bought at Chester races. He said: "What are you going to do with it?" I said: "I'm going to race it of course." He replied: "Judging by the...
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Rondy
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. His co-worker, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. Just an old cricket injury that acts up once in awhile." Josh...

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