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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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-SharonA-
Me: "Why did you marry me?" My wife: "Because you are so funny". Me: "I thought it was because I am so good in bed" My Wife: "You see? You are hilarious"...
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Jomlett
It’s reported that Donald Trump has overcome his distaste for keeping pets and adopted a cat. Of course this could be Fake Mews....
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Smowball
While playing in the backyard, eight years old Benjamin burns and kills a poor honey bee. His father David sees him killing the honey bee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one week!” Later that...
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Rondy
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No,"...
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Rondy
I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free chips. I'm on a diet so I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the bloke pulled a basket of...
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Theblip
The perfect name for a Vanessa Paradis tribute act: Vanessa Parody
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Canary42
Tottenham Hotspur players have been banned from owning dogs after the RSPCA raised concerns that none of them know how to hold on to a lead. [For the unaware: They drew 1-1 with Fulham after leading...
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Rondy
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his Dad who is at...
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Bobbisox1
https://ibb.co/VYCKtXQ...
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Rondy
A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. "Lady," Johnny explained, "we are on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork chop bone and a...
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Tubbycoates
I got sent this by a matge of mine. I assume it's old hat, but if you haven't seen it, enjoy. Yep - it's all us oldies' fault.... (received from a friend) When at a store checkout the young cashier...
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piggynose
What did QAnon Shaman' Jake Angeli´s mom say when he was off to jail? Bison....
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Bobbisox1
https://ibb.co/B4PwRMd...
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HFJL2020
every time if i want to read i have to keeep resizing i would like to know how to avoid that ta...
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Rondy
A man is going from door to door. He stops at one house and knocks on the door. A man opens the door. The door-to-door salesman says, "Hello sir, today we're going door-to-door looking for those who...
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Rondy
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "We fill up a...
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Rondy
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. __________________ Tonight when you get home, put a handful of ice cubes down your wife's nightie and say: 'There's...
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Canary42
I saw an Australian playing "Dancing Queen" on his didgeridoo this morning. I thought that's Abbariginal = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The Nurse says to the Doctor, "Here is the list of the...
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Bobbisox1
https://ibb.co/RPkXkbX...
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Bobbisox1
https://ibb.co/mcC3rsx...

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