Ev 1700 Hidden In Grid Style Phrase,...
Crosswords1 min ago
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. . . . . time to put the sprouts on for Christmas 😁
Cyril and Tom, two retired locomotive drivers, were reminiscing in the BR Retirement Home: Cyril: How many derailments did you have Tom? Tom: I don't know, it was difficult to keep track.
I was going to tell a joke about oil,but I thought it was a bit to crude.
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I went to collect my dracula costume, ready for Halloween. They handed me a Manchester United shirt instead.
I explained,... ...
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I went to collect my dracula costume, ready for Halloween. They handed me a Manchester United shirt instead.
I explained,... ...
I have just finished my sandwich filling degree, I do my final eggs ham tomorrow.
I was a watching a You Tube video of an aged, American stand-up comedian. It went something like this: "As I'm getting older and being unsteady on my feet I've taken to wearing a helmet in case I... ...
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Asda.
Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife... ...
Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife... ...
When my girlfriend said to me that I was her 32nd lover, I thought she was a bit of a slag – until I realized she was talking about time.
SO YOU COWARDS think you're tough because you jumped me?? Waited for me to be alone... in front of my own home???
I still handled all of you, left 3 of you on the ground laid out!! You're lucky I... ...
I still handled all of you, left 3 of you on the ground laid out!! You're lucky I... ...
Paddy is booking into a guest house and looking around Reception, notices a sign on the wall.
He says to the owner, "What time do YOU get in by?"
The owner looks confused and says, "Well, I am the... ...
He says to the owner, "What time do YOU get in by?"
The owner looks confused and says, "Well, I am the... ...
My brother and I are really competitive when it comes to buying gifts for our mother’s sister.
This year, my brother bought her a stairlift.
He’s really upped the Auntie this time.
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I went to the... ...
This year, my brother bought her a stairlift.
He’s really upped the Auntie this time.
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I went to the... ...
My mates called me tight, so I decided to buy them a beer to prove I'm not... Turns out they wanted one each!
Ginger Rogers would never shout at her co-star if she was angry.
She'd just give Fred a stare.
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The longest drum solo in history was 10 hrs 28 min, performed by a child sitting behind me on a... ...
She'd just give Fred a stare.
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The longest drum solo in history was 10 hrs 28 min, performed by a child sitting behind me on a... ...
Dear Milkman...NOTES!
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"...
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"...
I just saw Cat Stevens empty boat floating past and I thought to myself...mooring has broken.
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A man knocked on my door asking for donations to the old folks home.
So I offered him my... ...
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A man knocked on my door asking for donations to the old folks home.
So I offered him my... ...
Kia have introduced a new feature in their cars which allows it to do a u turn on its own. The are calling it A KiaStarmer.
Got sent this yesterday and it did make me laugh! Man to wife: "Darling, why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm??" Wife to man: " I don't like to bother you when you're at... ...
With all this talk of Boris Johnson making a political comeback – it reminds me of the day when he first became Prime Minister; my girlfriend texted me a short message:- ‘BJ-PM’ I was so... ...
A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel. An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A REALIST sees a train approaching. The TRAIN DRIVER sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
A REALIST sees a train approaching. The TRAIN DRIVER sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
I have my doubts about this being a real application, but I thought it was quite funny so sharing. B&M JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to... ...
Our teacher asked me what my favourite animal was, and I replied,”Fried Chicken”. She said I wasn’t funny, but she must be wrong because the whole class laughed. My parents told me to always tell... ...
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