Crosswords1 min ago
My partner said if I take one more photo of her, she was leaving me. That's when I snapped!....
Cardboard belts are a waist of paper Norwegian ships have bar codes so you can scan da navy in I prefer my kale with a silent K Remains to be seen if I like glass coffins Hedgehogs: Why can’t they...
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.
(I'll get me coat...)...
Apparently Brexiteers are confused because Bercow has exercised the Parliamentary sovereignty they say we haven't got because of our EU membership.
What Americans call a zucchini the British call a courgette. Where Americans have jelly, Britain has jam. Where Britain has jelly, America has jell-O. But most interesting of all is that Americans...
People only aay congrats because they don’t know how to spell congratjulations...
As I lay in bed last night, gazing at the moon and stars, I suddenly thought, "Where's the frigging roof?!".......
A young man I met, sent me a text, saying , "I think your great" I replied, "No, I think you're great". He's in love with me now, and I don't have the heart to tell him, I was only correcting his...
my grandma talking to my dad about her new hearing aid, "it's the most expensive one u can buy, it cost me $4,000.”
my dad: "what kind is it?"
my grandma: "it's 4:15pm"...
Eat alphabet soup and have a vowel movement
Eat more doughnuts, it’s the original hole food
1st restaurant opens on the moon – great food but no atmosphere...
I ordered an eight inch Cheese and Tomato Pizza from Dominos. I was shocked when it arrived as it was delivered by two midget monks. I phoned Dominos up and said, “What are you doing, having my...
I used to have a vast collection of vintage tractors, all lovingly restored to their former glory. I just run out of space, in the end and the novelty wore off. S'pose you could say, I'm an extractor...
My partner is always driving me round the bend. One day he will learn how to use roundabouts properly. I just drank some wkd with ice in it. It was wicked. I’ve recently been buying loads of...
the inventor of the anagram has died...may he "erect a penis."...
What do you call batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale...
A milk jug says to a sugar bowl “Hey, shall we see which one of us can hold the most coffee?”
The sugar bowl says “No way mate, that’s a mug’s game.”...
Paddy and his two friends are talking at work. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they...
I blasted my horn at a man, when I saw him removing fence panels from the motorway today.
He looked at me with anger in his eyes.
So I shouted "no need to take offence" !...
My overweight partner has started getting a bit of pride in himself lately.
Well, he has started eating lion bars....
For Sale: Replica Fisherman's Knife (Made To Scale)...
Latest Posts
Family9 mins ago
Media & TV9 mins ago
Crosswords12 mins ago
Animals & Nature19 mins ago
Brexit Aside .... Meanwhile In...
News27 mins ago