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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Canary42
See the cartoons in the attached. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-48547558...
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spathiphyllum
What's considered classy if you're right but trashy if you're poor? Getting money from the government....
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maggiebee
Must be read out in a real Dundee accent! Translations available on request. Dundee Sheriff Court QC: Tell the court why you went to see your brother-in-law Defendant: Fur a tap Judge: Your...
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marval
I have been studying hieroglyphics for a long time. I have come to the conclusion that it is rather difficult to spell. I have just spent two hours watching a D.V.D. I really need to get a D.V.D...
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Canary42
Britain going down the tubes thanks to Brexit, The World ditto thanks to Climate Change, and what are Parliament debating today ? Whether Mummy May was right in putting little Gavin on the naughty...
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Canary42
Anne Widdecombe joins Brexit as she decides the EU Gravy Train pays much better then BBC's dancing show....
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spathiphyllum
What a joker. Idiot. https://twitter.com/Lord_Sugar/status/1120300489390870528...
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AndiFlatland
God's three greatest inventions, by Oolon Colluphid (remember me, from the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, author of Where God Went Wrong., Some More Of God's Greatest Mistakes, and Who Is This God...
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marval
I went to a topless bar last night. It doesn’t make sense to me. There is nowhere to put your drink down....
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spathiphyllum
Me: Nothing Trump can say now will surprise me. Trump: Windmill noises cause cancer Me.. Ah, I was wrong...
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DTCwordfan
Theresa May has already been sacked as the nativity manager for the HoCommons select Christmas play and party. They have already realised that she can't run a stable government!...
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Canary42
Theresa May has had to cancel her leaving drinks do - the brewery is fully booked. (Thanks to [i] Private [i] Eye for this one)...
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marval
An animal at the zoo was given special recognition after it gave its own life to rescue a child from a fire. It was a hippoposthumous award. I am really not looking forward to having to tell my friend...
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Canary42
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47684499 I must have mis-heard the travel agent - I thought she said Viking Sky, not hike in the sky....
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Canary42
I hate bigotry. Doesn't this make me a bigot ;-D...
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Canary42
. . . . acknowledges the result of another piece of his anatomy. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-47500372...
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Patsy33
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing? Axel Froze....
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spathiphyllum
Venezuela: America is after our oil. America: We are after Venezuela's oil. liberals: It's not about oil it's about democracy...
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Patsy33
A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. "What's your kid's name?" asks the bartender. "Tiny," says the lizard. "Because he's my newt."...
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Patsy33
My friend asked me what made me become an editor, I replied, "To cut a long story short,"...........

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