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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
"Doctor, I think I'm a moth." "It's not a doctor you need, it's a psychiatrist." "But I was on my way there when I saw your light on."...
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Rondy
Pub Landlord: "There's a storm outside. You can't go home in such bad weather -- why not spend the night here?" Patrick O'Malley: "All right. Just let me go home first and get my pyjamas first."...
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maggiebee
I've put up a marquee in my garden with flashing lights and funky music. Now is the winter of our disco tent....
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Rondy
John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : "John seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. " The mother wrote back the next day : " If you find...
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Rondy
Three elderly people were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business,'" declared the...
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Roobaba
Not new, first broadcast on BBC Four 2013 - 2014. Some Boffins with Jokes Some of the nation's sharpest scientific minds and keenest brains tell their favourite jokes. Do boffins find the same things...
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Rondy
Behind the Scenes A guy works in the circus, following the elephants with a pail and shovel. One day, his brother comes to see him. He says, “Sam, I’ve got great news. I’ve got you a job in my office....
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Rondy
My friend just got back from a trip to Switzerland. I asked him what he thought about the scenery. He said, “Oh, I couldn't see much. All these mountains were in the darn way."...
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Hymie
I don’t think we should be creating anymore wind-farms – I think it’s windy enough already....
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Rondy
Two young men were flying a small plane over the desert when the engine failed and they crashed. Wandering for days one young man says: "I'm so hungry I'm going to chop off my penis and eat it." "No,...
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Rondy
"Flight Easy jet LL147 Please turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement." Advised the control tower. "Roger." The pilot responded. "But we are flying at 35.000 feet, How much noise can we be making up...
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stocksman
I ordered a metal scribing tool from internet which said ''the tungsten tip will NEVER go dull''.So why did they feel the need to make it double ended ?
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Rondy
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the...
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Rondy
Man: "I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months." Friend: "Why, you two been fighting?" Man: "No, I just don't like to interrupt her."...
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Rondy
One Sunday in a Welsh church a young child was acting up during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the...
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Rondy
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."...
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Rondy
Not too long ago a large seminar was held for vicars in training. Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's...
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Rondy
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous ugly representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the...
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Rondy
A mother and her son were flying Jet2 Airlines from Manchester to Alicante. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have...
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Canary42
Q- Why don't women have dirty minds? A- Because they are always changing them....

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