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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no...
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-SharonA-
I am so single..... I am chasing myself around the house playing hard to get!...
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Rondy
Pub Landlord: "There's a storm outside. You can't go home in such bad weather -- why not spend the night here?" Patrick O'Malley: "All right. Just let me go home first and get my pyjamas first."...
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Canary42
Friday: News, "New variant rampant" Saturday: Boris, "O K, we'll close the stable door next Tuesday"...
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Hymie
Last weekend, my friend set me up with a blind-date with his sister. Despite his assurance that she was attractive and intelligent – I was concerned that I might find her unattractive and be stuck...
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McMouse
Being pc the CIA no longer use the term “waterboarding”. It is now referred to as “Tactical Baptism”...
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Hymie
Earlier today my wife, mother-in-law and I were all watching TV when one of those cremation adverts came on; at which my mother-in-law announced that she would quite like to be cremated, to which I...
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Rondy
The company president called the chief security guard into his office. "Dave, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands...
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Rondy
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."...
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-SharonA-
I've decided to release a Christmas single called duvet know it’s Christmas time.... It’s a cover version!!...
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Hymie
A couple went Christmas shopping with their three young children in tow. After hours of traipsing around toyshops and hearing their kids ask for every item on the shelves, they were totally fed-up....
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maggiebee
I've put up a marquee in my garden with flashing lights and funky music. Now is the winter of our disco tent....
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McMouse
A New York accountant had the image of a $100 bill tattooed on his manhood. He went home and showed it to his wife. She wasn’t pleased and asked he why he’d had in done. He replied, “If I take it out...
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Rondy
John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : "John seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. " The mother wrote back the next day : " If you find...
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Canary42
I have a car bumper sticker that says "Hoot if you think I'm sexy." Then I just sit at the green lights until I feel better about myself....
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Rondy
Three elderly people were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business,'" declared the...
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Rondy
"I'm now making my living as a full-time artist." "So have you sold anything lately?" "Yes -- my car, my TV, my watch ..."...
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Smowball
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was...
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Roobaba
Not new, first broadcast on BBC Four 2013 - 2014. Some Boffins with Jokes Some of the nation's sharpest scientific minds and keenest brains tell their favourite jokes. Do boffins find the same things...
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Bobbisox1
https://ibb.co/bX76R1G :0(...

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