I used to have a vast collection of vintage tractors, all lovingly restored to their former glory. I just run out of space, in the end and the novelty wore off. S'pose you could say, I'm an extractor...
I blasted my horn at a man, when I saw him removing fence panels from the motorway today.
He looked at me with anger in his eyes.
So I shouted "no need to take offence" !...
Happy 80th Birthday today.
He sung and wrote some wonderful songs which evoked high emotion.
Among my favs was 'Laughter in the rain. plus many more!...
Two wind turbines are stood it a field, and one says to the other "so what kind of music do you like".
The other turns and replies: "I'm a big metal fan myself"...
I went to the optician's the other day, to get my eyes tested.
It turns out I'm color blind, apparently.
Well I can tell you, that came like a bolt, straight out of the red!...
I bought a plastic tub of frozen sweet corn soup, a few days ago and when I took it from the freezer, I noticed that the lid and the base were bulging out. I put it in the microwave for the...
Are robins becoming more adaptable in their eating habits ?
I have noticed them using the peanut and fat ball feeders much more readily, rather just going for crumbs that fall to the ground....
A novice gardener was rushed to hospital yesterday, after accidentally eating a poisonous daffodil bulb which she had thought was an onion. The lady who has not been named, is making a slow recovery...
A man walks into a hardware store, holds up a can of insecticide and asks "is this any good for green fly ?.
No says the manager "it will kill them"...
I bumped into an old friend in the pub, who I hadn't seen for a while. He explained to me that he had been on a gold prospecting holiday in the far east. "Japan ?" I asked. No he said "I prefer to use...
Watching 'Great British railway journeys' on tv earlier, someone claimed that Marmite works as a good mosquito repellent.
Anyone know it this is true ?
ps I do like all yeast extracts BTW....
An angry neighbor came pounding on my door, shouting and screaming and asking me if I knew anything regarding the disappearance of clothing from her washing line. I was so shook up by this tirade of...
A guy go's to his Doctor and says: Dr Dr, you've gotta help me, I have this terrible blinking in my right eye!" Doctor: " Ah come on now, it don't look so bad". Guy: "Doc, you don't understand, every...
I was in a shop the other day, when the shopkeeper came over to me and said: "can I help you sir ?". I said "Yes I'm looking for a new watch. "Analogue ?" He replied. Me: "No, just the watch please"...
After a heavy fall of overnight snow, I fumbled around in my pockets to find something to scrape the snow from my car windscreen. In desperation, I used my store discount savers card. Trouble was, it...
