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Chipchopper

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Cetti
Last year I bought a large plastic container for runner beans. The soil has over wintered and I've just put fresh soil on top before planting for this year. Making sure the soil is moist I watered it...
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Giselda21
I recently stripped a rendered wall of ivy. How best do I remove the sticky mess left behind. I've tried spraying beachy solutions, and washing powder. Thanks in advance....
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Patsy33
The police have just rang to inform me that they’ve recovered my stolen sofa. That was nice of them, it was starting to look a bit tatty....
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marval
I popped into a travel agent and said, "I am thinking of going to Belgium." The assistant responded "Antwerp?" I said, "No, he doesn't want to go." I have just watched a film about a man who broke his...
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marval
A middle aged man was tired of his job in the city and wanted a place where he could relax So he decided to go to the seaside and buy a house. He found the perfect house and was about to buy it when...
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melv16
Most of my leaf beet has bolted. Is it edible or should I start again?
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marval
I have a friend who is a stamp collecting Irish dancer. His name is Michael Philately....
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marval
Paddy and Murphy are sat in the pub and the barmaid mentions that they are both getting a bit of a belly. They decide it is time for a bit of exercise. The barmaid says the best form of exercise is...
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Groupie
Hello just a quickie,Do Red currant start budding before black currants because my Reds are a good couple of weeks behind.
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Bobbisox1
This was Metro Centre Asda this morning ! http://www.upl.co/uploads/76A78CA7B2C94A2EBB49FB464A83F9291584278846.png...
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Canary42
I went into the pub today and said to the barmaid,"Do you do cash back?". "Yes, certainly", she replied. "Good", I said, "Can I have the £40 I spent last night, my wife's going mental."...
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Canary42
Some years ago I responded positively to an RSPB appeal, and planted a hedge (mixed holly and beech) along the back of my garden. It is now some 10 feet in height, and several feet thick. The amount...
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Patsy33
I named my two children Lager and Guinness. My wife is Bitter....
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Patsy33
My partner reckons I drink too much Gin. This came as a bit of a shock. I didn’t even realise I had a partner....
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Patsy33
My Father always said, 'Never be quick to find faults' Lovely man. Terrible geologist....
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Spicerack
bought me a 'lovely' nylon dressing gown for Christmas. Trouble is, it's crackling with static electricity. Do you think if I take it back tomorrow, they'll replace it with another one free of charge?...
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Patsy33
My partner left me because of my obsession with health and safety, I said, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out....
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Patsy33
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady...
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Alison54
Head covering for a woman with a third generation.
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Old_Geezer
Well I'm unlikely to recall all the plants I put in this year, but concentrating on the fruit stuff. As far as I can tell, greatberry, and blueberry are able to shrug off the colder months by...

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