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Rondy

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Rondy
My wife stormed into the pub and threw a plate of beans on toast in front of me. "There's your f....ing dinner," she screamed. "You spend so much time in here you may as well eat in here as well!"...
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Rondy
I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old newspapers... The Times are rough! ---------------------------------------------- Argentina is surprisingly cold... In fact it's bordering on Chile!...
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Rondy
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman...
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Rondy
My girlfriend says I don't satisfy her anymore... Probably because I'm a man, not a cake shop! ____________________ I was shocked at price of those Ancestry DNA kits, so rather than spend £150, I just...
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Rondy
The School teacher sent home a note with her student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends far too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a note back the...
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Rondy
On average, any American man will have sex two to three times a week, where as a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I was Japanese....
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Rondy
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: "What's happening?" The runner replied breathlessly: "A lion has escaped...
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Rondy
Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went....
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Rondy
Famous Mothers Quotes MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" COLUMBUS MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you...
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Rondy
During a recent power outage my PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, IPAD, and a new surround sound system were all shut down. Also, my mobile phone battery was dead. To make matters worse it was raining and I...
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Rondy
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Rio to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system...
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Rondy
The Olympic torch has more chance of going out this winter than me. _______________ If the Rovers, Queen Vic and the Woolpack are open for business tonight I'm kicking off! _______________ Greta...
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Rondy
An Irishman's first drink with his son: While reading an article last night about fathers and the sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our...
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Rondy
My lesbian neighbours recently asked me to help them conceive a child. They said they didn't mind doing it the old fashioned way as they were both very liberal minded. Anyway, they're both very...
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Rondy
My wife thinks we should sleep in separate beds. Great idea... I've chosen Karen's, at number 23!...
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Rondy
Two fishermen are fishing off a bank dangling their legs in the water. A shark swims up and bites one of the men's leg off. "Oh no," shouts the man. "A shark's bitten my leg off." "Which one?" his pal...
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Rondy
I don't know about you but the buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other! _____________________ I went to the chemist today, I said ' do you know what best kills the virus ?'...
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Rondy
A friend of mine opened a strip club called 'The G-Spot'. It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it!...
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Rondy
Home schooling the kids yesterday, very stressful so breaking the rules I asked the neighbour could they take care of them between 4 and 10, they said 'yes' so I said : "Great, I'll pick them up when...

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