An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your...
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Auntie Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely...
A man goes to the doctors with an irritation. The doctor tells him the bad news, "I'm sorry th tell you that you've got a nasty case of Hermies." "Don't you mean Herpes," asks the man. "No..." replies...
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Eventually, as a last hope, the doctor refers...
One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty pounds to buy meat. "Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty pound note is...
A Welsh man is walking through a field, when he sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Welsh man shouts: "Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachu yn y Dwr" (Don't drink the water,...
A group of third, fourth and fifth year school kids accompanied by two female teachers went on a school trip to the Chester racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the racing industry. During...
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I...
There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he went to visit a beautiful fairy in the town who had the power to grant wishes....
A wee boy asks "What's love juice Dad?" His Dad starts panicking and sits him down and starts to tell him about the birds and the bees. A little while later Dad asks "Exactly which programmes have you...
There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn't come out. So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, ''Big chief, no fart.'' The doctor gives him a can...
There's a fancy dress party. Also it's national 'Talk like a pirate week' A man goes to the fancy dress party "Who have you come as" asks the doorman "A pirate" states the potential guest "Where are...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the check up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined...
In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to the Wailing Wall to check it...
When we divorced, my first wife wanted a present.
"Anything, I said, how about something that goes from 0 to 160 in 3 seconds?"
"Great," she said
I bought her some bathroom scales....
The hotel manager found a beautiful blonde maid looking rather guilty. "What is the matter, my dear?" "Well, the man in room 1210 called down for room service, and I was sent up to his room. I walked...
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure...