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Patsy33

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Ardbeg
Sounds like part of the ribs Key connects stretch and smaller...
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Hopkirk
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck - you're drunk. Ducks don't talk....
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Hopkirk
The only bad thing about my six figure salary is the decimal point.
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Hopkirk
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
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Hopkirk
I was working in a health food shop. This guy's walks in and says "Evening Primrose Oil" I said "It's Mr Hopkirk to you"...
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Hopkirk
I told my friend I had come to his fancy dress party as a harp. He said I was too small to be a harp. I said "Are you calling me a lyre?"...
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Hopkirk
My mate David was a victim of ID theft. Now we just call him Dav....
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Hopkirk
I've just started writing a book on hurricanes. It's only a draft at the moment....
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Hopkirk
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. jack and the beans talk....
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Hopkirk
Bread is like the sun. It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist....
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quizbrew
All the answers are the names of birds. Any ideas gratefully received! 1. Bird watching perhaps (5 letters) 2. Mick Jagger perhaps (8,7 letters)...
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Hopkirk
To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts. To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket. You can't run but you can hide. To the person while stole my...
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Hopkirk
I met a gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. It was Weggie Kray....
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Hopkirk
I recently entered a competition to see who has gained most weight and lost most hair. Obviously it wasn't called that, it was advertised as a school reunion....
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Hopkirk
I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery....
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Spicerack
Can't wait. This could be the finest drama ever seen on British Television. If they tell the true story. Which seems unlikely but maybe they'll surprise me....
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roadman
I keep waking up with a lot of undigested food on my chest kind of thing in my stomach i am trying not to eat too late at night it makes me wake up and feel really poorly and i often vomit because of...
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Hopkirk
The police were hunting a burglar who regularly stole musical instruments. The guy they stopped denied it was him, but they found the lute on him....
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Hopkirk
Dave drowned, so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted....

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