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Berniecuddles2

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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Friday. Cloudy. Raining. Situation normal! I'll have to rethink the day. I was going to take some stuff to the tip. Might have a lazy day instead! :o} Tiggy was wandering about his territory earlier,...
04:55 Fri 08th Sep 201798 answers, last by murraymints 07:52 Fri 08th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Friend Of Mine

Friend of mine always gets a pain in his spine when he listens to classical music. Think it’s Bach-ache....
22:00 Thu 07th Sep 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 11:13 Mon 13th Nov 2017
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-SharonA-

Corny

Q: What did the baby corn say to its mum? A: "Where’s my pop corn?"...
17:58 Thu 07th Sep 20178 answers, last by Patsy33 18:35 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

My Local

My local florist isn’t into butter. They’re not interflora either....
14:53 Thu 07th Sep 20178 answers, last by EDDIE51 21:15 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Bazile

Noah And The Animals

With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah...
14:59 Thu 07th Sep 20173 answers, last by Garaman 19:34 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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albaqwerty

Jehovah

Saturday morning the weather was too bad to play golf. I was bored with nothing to do. Suddenly there was a knock on the door I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:...
14:28 Thu 07th Sep 20173 answers, last by Hopkirk 19:23 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Just Been

Just been let down by the people who work at the fancy dress shop after I tried to order a Shepherd’s outfit. Can’t get the staff....
13:49 Thu 07th Sep 201729 answers, last by marval 18:19 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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EcclesCake

Just Sacked My Windowcleaner

I wasn't expecting a full on exit interview but was surprised that he didn't even bother to ask why.
10:20 Thu 07th Sep 201760 answers, last by albaqwerty 14:38 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Flatmate

My flatmate's been hard at work all day today. I slipped a Viagra in his breakfast this morning....
09:44 Thu 07th Sep 201731 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 10:55 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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EDDIE51

You Could Not Make It Up!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296 Woman trapped after trying to retrieve her poo that was too big to flush. So she threw it out of the window!...
21:02 Tue 05th Sep 201732 answers, last by gness 18:00 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Trying

Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell. I just can’t put my finger on it....
09:58 Thu 07th Sep 201715 answers, last by jno 11:05 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

3 Hours Late!

I booked an Asian prostitute last night but she arrived 3 hours late. She loved me wrong time....
06:45 Thu 07th Sep 20173 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 09:42 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

My Brother

My brother is a bit of a know all and loves praise and approval. Yesterday he said, "I know someone in the family that has a new joint" I replied, " Hip?..... hip?.. "Who Ray?".......
08:36 Thu 07th Sep 20179 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 09:41 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. Cloudy again this morning. New fireplace in and looks lovely. Very pleased with it. I was driving along yesterday when one of my hearing aids just stopped working. A very odd sensation and...
05:45 Thu 07th Sep 201760 answers, last by albaqwerty 08:44 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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meglet

Out Of Date Savlon...

Unopened, but expired in 2006! Would you use it?
20:48 Wed 06th Sep 201730 answers, last by gingejbee 09:57 Fri 08th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Fancy Dress Party

Told the Mrs that I don't want to go to an 80's fancy dress party. But she remains adamant....
20:03 Wed 06th Sep 201714 answers, last by Patsy33 21:06 Wed 06th Sep 2017
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marval

No Money?

My partner says there's no money in fishing. He will be surprised when he sees I managed to make over a thousand pounds selling all of his equipment....
17:07 Wed 06th Sep 201714 answers, last by Georgiesmum 09:22 Thu 07th Sep 2017
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Bazile

Escargot

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A week later , there’s a knock on...
15:48 Wed 06th Sep 20176 answers, last by marval 19:33 Wed 06th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

My Brother

My brother used to date a one legged girl who worked at a brewery, she was in charge of the hops....
14:31 Wed 06th Sep 201725 answers, last by Patsy33 16:22 Wed 06th Sep 2017
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Barmaid

Making A Fool Of Yourself

Just went to buy a bucket. It appears that even buying bucket comes with consequences when you are me. Anyway, picked up said bucket, saw massive spider in it. My kneejerk reaction was to scream and...
11:37 Wed 06th Sep 201764 answers, last by albaqwerty 10:24 Sat 09th Sep 2017

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