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albaqwerty

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albaqwerty
A young Glasgow lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. "Do you have any sales experience?" asked the manager. "The famous Barras mate?", nodded the young man. The manager liked the...
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albaqwerty
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband...
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albaqwerty
friend has a couple of pocket watches, but the main springs are 'jammed' Anyone have any idea if they can be unjammed and what with or is it not worth it? Many thanks....
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albaqwerty
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!"...
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albaqwerty
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this...
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albaqwerty
Having read on a different thread about how reasonably priced they are, are they and can they be as reliable as the ones at surgery and hospital? I hope so....
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albaqwerty
With regards to face coverings/masks problems/issues for both yourself and Mr J2, I've no idea if any of these might be of help or worthy of consideration :- From the Rail Insider website about...
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albaqwerty
A psychic dwarf has escaped from Greenock prison. That's right, there's a small medium at large....
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albaqwerty
in the US, here's another one. Stuff of nightmares....
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albaqwerty
should be visible over the UK 15 minutes after launch. About 9.51pm according to this...
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albaqwerty
With a nod to Martin Kelner. What titles of films would appeal to psychiatrists? I'll try Withnail and Id Jung Frankenstein What do you think? :-D...
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albaqwerty
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird....
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albaqwerty
Whilst checking on a bakery factory, the food inspector was horrified to find Paddy using his teeth to crimp the apple pies. ''Have you not got a tool for that??!!'' shrieks the inspector. ''Yes''...
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albaqwerty
Surely not? https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/labour-mp-who-returned-to-work-at-care-home-during-coronavirus-pandemic-sacked-for-speaking-out-on-ppe-shortages As you can see from the blurb in...
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albaqwerty
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a...
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albaqwerty
Me : I've just been bitten by a Great Dane when I was in the park. Her: Oh my gosh, what if it had been a small child?!!! Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice.......
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albaqwerty
Englishman: "That your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog don't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock)...
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albaqwerty
Paddy walks into his local butchers and asks for a pound of “what's what”. The butcher, puzzled by this request, informs the man that they don't sell “what's what”. So Paddy leaves, only to come back...
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albaqwerty
I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park. She sells 'C' cells down by the seesaw....
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albaqwerty
A old woman prospector shuffled into a town leading a mule . The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat . She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching rail ....

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