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albaqwerty

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albaqwerty

Odd Mixture

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird....
00:03 Sun 24th May 20205 answers, last by gness 00:31 Sun 24th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Food Inspector

Whilst checking on a bakery factory, the food inspector was horrified to find Paddy using his teeth to crimp the apple pies. ''Have you not got a tool for that??!!'' shrieks the inspector. ''Yes''...
23:04 Sat 23rd May 20203 answers, last by marval 13:04 Sun 24th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Labour And Political Capital

Surely not? https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/labour-mp-who-returned-to-work-at-care-home-during-coronavirus-pandemic-sacked-for-speaking-out-on-ppe-shortages As you can see from the blurb in...
11:16 Thu 07th May 20208 answers, last by Spicerack 08:08 Fri 08th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Another Biker's Tale

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a...
23:35 Wed 06th May 20202 answers, last by marval 14:33 Thu 07th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Alice

Me : I've just been bitten by a Great Dane when I was in the park. Her: Oh my gosh, what if it had been a small child?!!! Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice.......
23:10 Wed 06th May 20204 answers, last by waterboatman 05:32 Thu 07th May 2020
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albaqwerty

Not An Irishman In Sight

Englishman: "That your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog don't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock)...
20:52 Mon 04th May 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 21:12 Mon 04th May 2020
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albaqwerty

What's What

Paddy walks into his local butchers and asks for a pound of “what's what”. The butcher, puzzled by this request, informs the man that they don't sell “what's what”. So Paddy leaves, only to come back...
22:21 Mon 27th Apr 20204 answers, last by aelmpvw 10:54 Tue 28th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

Yesterday

I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park. She sells 'C' cells down by the seesaw....
23:39 Sun 26th Apr 202017 answers, last by marval 21:25 Mon 27th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

An Old Woman

A old woman prospector shuffled into a town leading a mule . The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat . She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching rail ....
23:34 Fri 17th Apr 20209 answers, last by marval 14:02 Sat 18th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

Product Recall

including chocolate https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/tesco-sainsburys-asda-lidl-waitrose-18094008?fbclid=IwAR12FxqlixIu7kdTwoPrfH3Veh_aUy_zLGVOVHKUl1NRfZFWgHzBpb4Qajg...
00:06 Thu 16th Apr 20202 answers, last by jno 00:25 Thu 16th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

Shocking News About France

I've been wondering why not a lot/nothing has been heard on the BBC about how France is coping with Covid. Dreadfully sad....
23:22 Tue 07th Apr 202035 answers, last by Togo 12:26 Wed 08th Apr 2020
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albaqwerty

Hbal

presumably short for Helium Balloon I like having a look on flightradar24 every so often, had my usual perusal this evening and saw the logo for these things. Nice to know they are for bringing the...
22:56 Tue 31st Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

Tunnock's Closing.

No more teacakes, caramel wafers due to Covid. They are doing the right thing in closing as they cannot work under current stipulations. I hope their sense and compassion is rewarded when this is all...
01:30 Sun 29th Mar 202010 answers, last by ynnafymmi 14:36 Sun 29th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

A Dinosaur

over the past few days I've been getting used to seeing families with young children going for a walk. This afternoon was a first. Person in a dinosaur outfit waving at windows of houses they were...
21:28 Sat 28th Mar 20209 answers, last by naomi24 23:41 Sat 28th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

Good News For Some

no more Lorraine or Loose Women for a while. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/newsbirmingham/itv-to-stop-broadcasting-lorraine-and-loose-women/ar-BB11xBJD?ocid=msedgntp...
22:47 Sun 22nd Mar 202011 answers, last by Cloverjo 20:48 Wed 25th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

3 Trees And A Woodpecker.

2 tall trees, a birch and a beech are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, The birch says to the beech ''Is that a son of a birch or a son of a beech?'' The beech says he...
22:03 Mon 16th Mar 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:49 Tue 17th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

Paranoia

has reached absurd stages. I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own....
23:45 Sun 15th Mar 20206 answers, last by marval 18:28 Mon 16th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

Loo Roll In The Woods

A bear, minding his own business whilst wandering had a sudden need to go for a poop. Finding a suitable place, he proceeds to poop but discovers he has no loo roll. A bunny passes by and bear calls...
22:37 Sun 15th Mar 20206 answers, last by marval 18:27 Mon 16th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

World Attitude To Covid

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to...
23:06 Sat 14th Mar 20208 answers, last by Patsy33 23:32 Sat 14th Mar 2020
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albaqwerty

I Was Startled

by a loud fart. I was fartled.
10:34 Wed 26th Feb 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:58 Wed 26th Feb 2020

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