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marval

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marval
I popped into a travel agent and said, "I am thinking of going to Belgium." The assistant responded "Antwerp?" I said, "No, he doesn't want to go." I have just watched a film about a man who broke his...
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marval
A drummer acquaintance of mine had a bit of an accident earlier. He tripped and fell over his fully assembled drum kit and accompanying congas, and received a nasty bang on his head He is now...
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marval
Will anyone be watching Great Canal Journeys tomorrow? It is on Channel4 at 8.00, with Shelia Hancock and Gyles Brandreth. I will miss Tim and Pru, but I will watch this new one....
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marval
Six year old Mary comes home from school, and says that she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother asked how it went. “I nearly died of shame,” she answered. “John from down our...
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marval
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, "Sure, what Volume would you like?" My partner said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your...
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marval
As the storm raged, the captain realised his ship was sinking fast. So he shouted out, "Anyone here knows how to pray?" Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain, I know how to pray."...
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marval
My partner has just found out I have spent all our savings on Muppets memorabilia. It's time to face the music....
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marval
I got arrested last night for smashing my neighbour's car windows out with a hammer. I did it because he has been playing Engelbert Humperdinck songs nonstop for the last seven days. Anyway, I had the...
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marval
I hopped on a bus today. After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down. My hot water heater packed up, so I had to fill the bath using a kettle and a load of saucepans. It was jolly uncomfortable...
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marval
Two very inebriated friends trail back to one of their homes at three thirty in the morning. They find the wife of one of the friends stood in the doorway armed with a rolling pin. The other one...
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marval
I do not agree with this, but did he really think he would get away with it? https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-bus-passenger-uses-snake-as-a-face-mask-12072957...
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marval
The sergeant was in one of his rare moods as he lectured the recruits. "Let me ask you a simple question, what is fortification?" There was no response. Nor did any of the rookies answer when he...
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marval
I am having trouble finding a manual for a Toshiba 32WL3A63DB smart TV. Can anyone help please, thank you.
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marval
Dear Hiring Manager Thank you for your letter of March 1st. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This...
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marval
Dear (person being rejected's name here____); I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly...
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marval
Mr Sine and Miss Cosine get married and head for their honeymoon to a seaside destination. So they are chilling by the beach, and sipping on their drinks, and things get naughty. During a lovemaking...
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marval
A man was driving through the countryside when he happened upon a sprawling farm, covered as far as the eye could see in brightly coloured variants of peppers. Astounded at the vastness and variety,...
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marval
A middle aged man was tired of his job in the city and wanted a place where he could relax So he decided to go to the seaside and buy a house. He found the perfect house and was about to buy it when...
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marval
I have written a book about wind systems of the world. It is saved in my drafts. I am looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals. There was a third off all...
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marval
I love “The Importance of being Earnest.” I am absolutely Wilde about it....

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