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marval

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marval

Just The Thing

If you are not a Donald fan, here is just the thing. It is useful as well....
17:01 Tue 24th Mar 20204 answers, last by dannyk13 14:08 Wed 25th Mar 2020
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marval

So That Is Where It All Went.

I joined the site Nextdoor, where you can find out about things in your local area. I have just looked at it, and there is a man wanting to borrow a fishing rod. He says he has bought a load of toilet...
01:20 Tue 24th Mar 20209 answers, last by marval 14:56 Tue 24th Mar 2020
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marval

Oh Dear

A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My...
13:43 Mon 23rd Mar 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 18:22 Mon 23rd Mar 2020
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marval

Have You?

Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing. What have Henry the Eighth and Kermit the Frog got in common? They have the same middle name. I had a tattoo of a digital...
19:46 Fri 20th Mar 20203 answers, last by maggiebee 22:50 Fri 20th Mar 2020
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marval

My Partner

"My partner went on a sailing course in Poole Harbour." "In Dorset?" "Oh yes, he would recommend it to anyone."...
20:08 Wed 18th Mar 20206 answers, last by Chipchopper 13:33 Thu 19th Mar 2020
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marval

I Am Now

The buttons on my jumper would not undo. So I tried getting it off over my head but it got stuck badly. I am now in A&E waiting to see a Cardyologist....
19:32 Mon 16th Mar 202012 answers, last by Patsy33 21:11 Mon 16th Mar 2020
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marval

Missing

Police are reporting that there was a robbery at my local Odeon with over £1000 of goods stolen. The cinema management say they are missing a large bucket of popcorn, a medium coke and a Cornetto. I...
16:59 Sun 15th Mar 20204 answers, last by maggiebee 19:59 Sun 15th Mar 2020
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marval

Good News

Carol a curvy blonde enters into John’s office. She says to her boss "John I am afraid I have some bad news for you." John staring at his secretary's curves, replies, "Sweetheart, why do you always...
19:09 Fri 13th Mar 20202 answers, last by maggiebee 00:19 Sat 14th Mar 2020
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marval

The Beatles

The Beatles were food fans, weren't they? In fact, they were especially big fans of Swiss cheese. As you can tell from the song; 'She loves Gruyère, yère, yère.' It is not well known but George...
20:11 Thu 12th Mar 202025 answers, last by Theland 08:04 Fri 13th Mar 2020
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marval

I Am Lost

A lost tourist in London asks a local for directions: "Excuse me, how do I get to the Albert Hall?" "Talent, luck and lots of practice." Visitors to Spain are amazed at the skill of the tattoo artists...
15:42 Mon 09th Mar 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 20:01 Mon 09th Mar 2020
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marval

Just Started

I have just started reading my first horror story in Braille. I think something really scary is about to happen, I can feel it I have just got a text inviting me to the local nudist club And I thought...
00:30 Sun 08th Mar 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:15 Sun 08th Mar 2020
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marval

Please Change

There is an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterwards told the first mate that his men smelled bad. The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors...
19:42 Sat 07th Mar 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:55 Sun 08th Mar 2020
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marval

I Know What You Are

One night a man and a woman doctor are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realise that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey,...
16:37 Sun 01st Mar 20203 answers, last by Theland 19:15 Thu 05th Mar 2020
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marval

Password?

In a pub, at the bar. Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password? Barman: You have to buy a drink first. C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager. B: Foster's, Carling, or...
18:56 Sat 29th Feb 20202 answers, last by JimF 18:59 Sat 29th Feb 2020
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marval

Marry Me

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit...
18:34 Tue 18th Feb 20201 answer, last by bookbinder 18:42 Tue 18th Feb 2020
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marval

My Good Deed

I saw a woman crying in the supermarket. So I stopped and asked her what had happened. Through the sobs, she said that she was due to go on holiday, but she had lost all the money she had been saving...
19:28 Mon 17th Feb 20204 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:25 Tue 18th Feb 2020
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marval

A Customer

A customer at the counter of a garden ornament shop said to the cashier. "Give me four of those gnomes, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in...
18:15 Wed 12th Feb 20202 answers, last by Old_Geezer 19:32 Wed 12th Feb 2020
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marval

I Have

I have got a French Bulldog. I am always letting him out for a oui. In the betting shop my friend told me to put all my money on a horse named Landfill I am fuming as it turns out it was a rubbish tip...
17:34 Sun 09th Feb 20206 answers, last by douglas9401 22:38 Sun 09th Feb 2020
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marval

Nelson

Nelson was 5'6" tall, yet his Trafalgar Square statue is 16'6" tall. That's Horatio of 3 to 1. The inventor of the dishwasher was buried today. They lowered him down, then his wife took him out and...
18:58 Sat 08th Feb 20203 answers, last by maggiebee 13:23 Sun 09th Feb 2020
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marval

After Dinner

After dinner my partner asked if I could clear the table. I needed a run up but I made it....
00:42 Wed 05th Feb 202010 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:31 Thu 06th Feb 2020

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