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marval

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marval

Groan

Olaf the Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears. "What's the matter?" asks Olaf. "Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the...
22:33 Tue 05th May 20208 answers, last by emmie 06:31 Wed 06th May 2020
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marval

Failed

Dear Lucy, thank you for your letter. Unfortunately your application to join our Match-making service has been rejected. You failed question 14, What do you like best in a man?" "A knife" was not an...
11:53 Mon 04th May 20205 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 19:30 Tue 05th May 2020
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marval

Fred And Ginger

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their...
22:44 Thu 30th Apr 20206 answers, last by NickorWan 14:34 Fri 01st May 2020
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marval

Could You?

Mr. Smith comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that's come off of my fly? I cannot button up my trousers." "Oh Dear, I have got my hands in the sink, go up the stairs and see...
17:51 Tue 28th Apr 20203 answers, last by zebo 20:54 Tue 28th Apr 2020
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marval

I Spotted

I spotted a lizard on a portable toilet. I suspect it was a commode-o-dragon....
13:37 Thu 23rd Apr 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:46 Thu 23rd Apr 2020
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marval

Make Love

A woman said to her husband, “You make love like a painter.” “What like Da Vinci?” he said. “Smooth strokes, attention to detail, resulting in masterpiece?” No, she said. “Like a council painter. You...
22:36 Tue 21st Apr 20203 answers, last by marval 22:51 Tue 21st Apr 2020
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marval

No More Dancing

Paddy and Murphy are sat in the pub and the barmaid mentions that they are both getting a bit of a belly. They decide it is time for a bit of exercise. The barmaid says the best form of exercise is...
16:32 Sun 19th Apr 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:41 Mon 20th Apr 2020
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marval

The Local Tennis Club

The local Tennis Club reported that their web site is down. They say they have trouble with their server. I found a Horror book written in Braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. I...
22:35 Sun 12th Apr 20204 answers, last by Patsy33 23:46 Sun 12th Apr 2020
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marval

Are You Lonesome?

Are you lonesome tonight, is your bra-strap too tight, are your corsets just drifting apart, have you got a big chest making holes in your vest, does your spare tyre reach out into the night, are your...
19:38 Sun 12th Apr 20203 answers, last by marval 22:06 Sun 12th Apr 2020
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marval

Hand Cuffs

Jill and Pamela meet up for a coffee. Jill says, "When I got home last night hubby give me a pair of hand cuffs." He then said “tie me to the bed and do whatever you want.” “What did you do?”asked...
18:45 Sat 11th Apr 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 19:22 Sat 11th Apr 2020
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marval

The Spot

The story is told of a pastor who designated an area of ground just below his kitchen window as “the spot.” When a well-meaning church member gave him, a less than savoury casserole. He would simply...
11:54 Fri 10th Apr 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 13:12 Fri 10th Apr 2020
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marval

Can You?

For months Billy had been Olivia's devoted admirer. At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he...
16:04 Thu 09th Apr 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 18:04 Thu 09th Apr 2020
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marval

Trying

I have been trying to buy a toaster off the internet. Every single one that arrived was faulty. It turns out my web browser had disabled pop-ups....
22:13 Tue 07th Apr 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 12:31 Wed 08th Apr 2020
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marval

Raided

A house in our street got raided by the police. They stormed in and arrested three guys. They said they were caught smoking amattabooboo. I hear you all asking. "What's amattabooboo?" Nothing Yogi...
18:59 Tue 07th Apr 20202 answers, last by Patsy33 19:11 Tue 07th Apr 2020
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marval

How Far Would You Go?

I have just read this story, I think it would have cost more than buying at home....
15:06 Tue 07th Apr 20208 answers, last by Unsureme 18:19 Tue 07th Apr 2020
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marval

Come Back

A plumber was called to a woman’s flat to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked lady, and during the course of the...
16:46 Sun 05th Apr 20205 answers, last by retrocop 00:48 Mon 06th Apr 2020
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marval

Oops

A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and didn’t realise he was missing an ‘e’ at the end of a word. “I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her.” In reply, she sent the...
22:21 Sat 04th Apr 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 22:44 Sat 04th Apr 2020
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marval

I Am

I am in witness protection. I sell condoms to Jehovah's....
18:09 Thu 02nd Apr 20202 answers, last by retrocop 18:21 Thu 02nd Apr 2020
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marval

Welcome

"Welcome to the improve your patience helpline. You are currently in a queue and are in position 26" "Please hold."...
18:24 Tue 31st Mar 20203 answers, last by zebo 14:56 Wed 01st Apr 2020
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marval

Salons

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing centres, and tanning salons are closed. It is about to get ugly out there....
17:00 Mon 30th Mar 202017 answers, last by NickorWan 09:46 Tue 31st Mar 2020

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