ChatterBank1 min ago
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered....
There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge What are the four...
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. suddenly, the drunk stands up and yells, " ATTENTION ALL "and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks...
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. 'Oh dear,' said the Queen, 'How...
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No. To whom....
What do you call a factory that makes OK products?
A satisfactory...
Overheard by a Lackey. “She’d better not kick the bucket until that cheque clears”...
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the vehicle licencing office, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her...
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the garden. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."...
Awful weather conditions today so just visited my 80 years old neighbour to ask if she needed anything from the shops. Turns out that she did, so I gave her my list too. No point in both of us going...
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A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbour was called as a witness. The defence attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?" "No sir," answered the man....
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. "Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. "What do you mean by lucky?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt...
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery.
Daffy turns to Elmer and says ’Is this Whiskey'?
Elmer says,
‘Yes but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank'!!...
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's licence, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a...
A small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder. He runs into his parents' room, where his father comforts him. "Don't be afraid of the thunder," he says. "It's just a noise that God makes when...
...no more Mr Rice Guy!
A woman went to see her new gynaecologist for a check up. He got her ready in stirrups with her legs wide open and began his inspection. "Oh my God!!" the man said: "In all my years I have never seen...
The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Reginald Carpley....
Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?" Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!" Policeman: "How can you be so certain?" Pedestrian: "I'd...
