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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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sunny-dave
https://i.postimg.cc/6qRd9dWM/image001.png...
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BANANASPLITS
Tv licence Man knocked on my door earlier. He said "have you got a tv" I said no ...he said "you must have you have an aerial on your roof. I said "I've got a pint of milk in the fridge but it doesn't...
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Canary42
I can't resist digging out this (admittedly very old) video of one of the New Years Honours awardees singing the Welsh National Anthem when he was Secreatry of State for Wales....
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BANANASPLITS
This Xmas. My Wife has just left me because of my Obsession with Small Chocolates. This calls for a 'Celebration'....
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Spicerack
I'm not saying I've got the best ceiling on AB but it's up there....
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Chipchopper
Why was the cheese monger walk awkwardly behind the counter ?. He only had one Stilton....
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spathiphyllum
When a vegan says to you murder is murder (whilst you eat your Christmas roast) even though the definition of murder applies to humans killing humans me, an intellect: Yes, and brexit means brexit....
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Chipchopper
A snowman was seen refiling through a large crate of carrots in the fruit and veg department of a local supermarket. The store manager spots him and says "Hey don't handle the food unless you're going...
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Canary42
I was hoping for a White Christmas but we ran out, so had to drink red instead - fortunately we had plenty to go round. And we ended up with a Rosé dawn....
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retrocop
Had a blazing row with the Missus yesterday over Christmas dinner. She threw her Prawn cocktail at me and added,”Thats just for starters!” :-(...
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BANANASPLITS
A woman on her death bed, called her husband and asked him to open a box from under the bed... Inside he found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash. "What are the eggs for"....? Asks the husband... She replied,...
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BANANASPLITS
A dog lover, whose female dog came "in heat," was concerned about keeping it and her male separated. But, she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she...
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BANANASPLITS
We just played the Christmas edition of cluedo! My wife murdered the xmas dinner in the kitchen by the oven!...
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exarmy448
I am going to enjoy a Brexit Christmas Lunch this year. No Brussels
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BANANASPLITS
As i was sitting on deck on a cruise a distinguished gentleman sat next to me and began reading a book after 15 minutes he looked up and asked " have you read marx" I said " yes its my own thought for...
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BANANASPLITS
A lorry carrying a load of snooker equipment has overturned on the M25. Police say the driver is under a rest and there are long cues on the M25!...
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spathiphyllum
my sisters boyfriend wants to fight me because i slept with his girlfriend......
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melv16
Were captured spying in Russia and were to be executed. They were asked for their last wishes. The Scotsman wanted a 1,000 piece piping band. The Welshman wanted a 1,000 piece male voice choir. I'll...
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DTCwordfan
One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pisshed off that Santa was never around to...

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