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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Canary42
I hate bigotry. Doesn't this make me a bigot ;-D...
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Canary42
Ne'er cast a clout 'til May is out. That won't be long now....
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marval
My boss called me into his office to see how my first day was going. He asked, “How are you finding your role?” I said, “If I am honest, it could do with a little more mayo.” My friend asked...
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Theland
Man buys a Kangaroo. Once Ho e it just sits there, eats a bit, drinks a bit, poos a bit but never moves. Takes it to the vet, who examines it, and writes out a prescription. "What are these?" asks the...
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marval
A city gent was driving through the countryside when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale. “Afraid...
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Groupie
Sperm banks pay money I just realised how much money i have let slip through my fingers over the years
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melv16
...hide something valuable from a Frenchman? Under the soap....
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Patsy33
I'm fed up with my partner, going on about his coin collection. I told him, "I can't take much more". He said, "Oh tuppence, don't be like that. Change is on its way"......
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marval
The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power. I think they should stop over-reacting. My partner complained about not being wanted, so I went to the post office and...
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Trevilino
I left my wife because she was obsessed with counting. I wonder what she is up to now?
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Trevilino
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
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Chipchopper
Just as I suspected, that "antique deep fat fryer" was a fake, it had a chip in it....
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maggiebee
Did you hear about the wee boy from the cannibal tribe? He was 8 before he was 7.
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DTCwordfan
Paddy is on who wants to be a millionaire. Jeremy Clarkson asks 'for £200, who was the great train robber? a) ronnie corbett. b) ronnie wood. c) ronnie barker or d) ronnie biggs?' Paddy say's 'I've...
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DTCwordfan
Following on from marval's joke on the Irish contestant A husband and wife are in bed watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". The husband asks for sex. The wife says, "No." Her husband asks, "Is...
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maggiebee
I hate this snow. No, wait, I love this snow. Signed bi-polar bear. I saw a baguette at the zoo. It was bread in captivity....
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maggiebee
The man who invented Spell Check has died. May he rust in ***.
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Patsy33
Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name? Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4....
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marval
I am a retired boxer and I am thinking of taking on golf as a hobby. Although many believe I should go into acting because apparently I am the only dog they know that can talk. My doctor’s surgery...
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maggiebee
Stupidity knows no boundaries but it knows a lot of people Where there’s a will there’s a relative The Pillsbury Doughboy is my roll model Pollen: When flowers can’t keep it in their plants...

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