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ELVIS68

Grease is the word...........

I got a text from my grandmother: "I've got chills, they're multiplying." I text her: "Haha, are you watching Grease again, Nan?" She replied: "No, my radiators aren't...
22:36 Sun 18th Sep 20112 answers, last by Avatar 10:38 Tue 20th Sep 2011
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Come again?

I entered a blindfolded w**king competition at the weekend. I don't know where I came. (The letters missing are 'an' for the hard of thinking)...
10:59 Mon 12th Sep 20118 answers, last by Avatar 16:38 Thu 15th Sep 2011
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Whats the difference?

between a reliable vacuum cleaner and a randy admiral in the swiss navy? One sucks and never fails... between a street vendor and a dachshund? One bawls out his wares on the street between a...
11:34 Fri 26th Aug 201112 answers, last by Avatar 13:19 Wed 31st Aug 2011
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Groupie

I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked the employee for £15 worth of gas.

He farted and gave me a receipt.
21:54 Tue 16th Aug 201155 answers, last by boxtops 21:56 Wed 17th Aug 2011
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EDDIE51

Sermon

Jesus is giving one of his most famous sermons. '' Those that are without sin amongst you let them cast the first stone'' When a large rock hits him right on the head. He turns to look at the...
15:37 Tue 16th Aug 20116 answers, last by BRIGHT SPARK 18:38 Wed 17th Aug 2011
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marval

With appologies to all Yorkshire folk.

They have a new way of using Ecstasy in Yorkshire, They Inject it into the mouth They call it E by gum But there's also the chap who takes his cat to the vet and says, "Right lad, I needs to talk...
17:51 Sat 30th Jul 201128 answers, last by Avatar 17:24 Mon 01st Aug 2011
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boxtops

There's an ostrich in the road....

There's a wonderful story in our local paper about a fellow who was surprised to see what he thought was an ostrich running along the road, he raised the alarm and a policeman wrestled it to the...
23:38 Sat 23rd Jul 201115 answers, last by Avatar 16:40 Tue 26th Jul 2011
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Hymie

American Naval Supremacy

This is an actual radio conversation between a United States Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities off the coast off Newfoundland in October 1995. (The radio...
19:47 Sat 23rd Jul 20116 answers, last by heathfield 18:56 Mon 25th Jul 2011
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brionon

Should Cows

be culled to save the Bagers from TB ?
10:14 Thu 21st Jul 201121 answers, last by rowanwitch 14:07 Fri 22nd Jul 2011
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lesblue

An eight-year-old boy

goes into a shop and asks for a packet of Tampax. Asistant asks him if he is sure that is what he wants. "Yes" says the boy, "they are for my four-year-old brother"....
16:27 Thu 14th Jul 20111 answer, last by Avatar 16:47 Thu 14th Jul 2011
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Cate_gory

Family Quiz

I have two queries on this quiz,if anyone can help please.Around the british isles. 70 what are auctioned at Tattersalls and what is rolled Coopers Hill in Gloucester.Answers are Around the British...
14:58 Tue 12th Jul 201110 answers, last by chakka35 14:44 Wed 13th Jul 2011
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Pack of 3

Bought a packet of flavoured condoms. Said to the other half in bed, "hey, how do you fancy a laugh? turn the lights off and I'll put one on and then you try and guess the taste"...
13:38 Wed 13th Jul 201110 answers, last by RATTER15 14:04 Wed 13th Jul 2011
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wildwood

Well worth a read.

A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his...
22:38 Wed 06th Jul 20116 answers, last by heathfield 12:23 Sun 10th Jul 2011
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joggerjayne

Hole in my trainer

I was in the changing room, and I noticed that my trainer had a hole that I could get my finger in. Well, she made a complaint, and now they've banned me from the gym....
23:19 Tue 05th Jul 201113 answers, last by dave50 10:46 Wed 06th Jul 2011
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Lore

Book titles and their authors....

Ten days in the saddle - by Major Bumsore. Parachute jumping - by Willie Makeit....
18:07 Tue 28th Jun 201164 answers, last by Ellipsis 11:09 Tue 05th Jul 2011
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Economical Car

What are the most economical mpg Astra/Corsa sized cars that one could pick up for about 4 or 5000? 4 seaters and a reasonable boot required. so far Ive considered 1.3CDTi Corsa Eco 1.7 CDTi Astra 1.4...
14:03 Wed 15th Jun 20116 answers, last by craft1948 23:39 Thu 16th Jun 2011
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milly143

Red Kites Getting too Brave

I was just flicking through the BBC news for my area and saw this. http://www.bbc.co.uk/...-oxfordshire-13614326 Do you think they should start to consider culling Red Kites, after all the effort they...
15:33 Wed 01st Jun 20119 answers, last by Answerprancer 14:34 Tue 14th Jun 2011
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Ninnynanny

Help needed please

I have looked in several bird books but unable to find the answer to this question; "Which bird has red feet in the summer and yellow feet in the winter" thank you for any suggestions.
07:36 Thu 09th Jun 20115 answers, last by Avatar 14:21 Tue 14th Jun 2011
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screien

Do you think mankind will come to an end anytime soon?

tell me what may cause mankind to end and will it be because of our selfish behavior?
06:56 Tue 14th Jun 201113 answers, last by em10 20:31 Tue 14th Jun 2011
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wildwood

CAUTION - Blonde joke.

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she...
23:44 Thu 09th Jun 20115 answers, last by mike11111 13:56 Tue 14th Jun 2011

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