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Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?" The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you...

Groupie

My wife gave me £50 and told me to go out

and get something that makes her look sexy. You should've seen her face when I came home pissed!

marval

Letter to Microsoft

This letter is from a non computer literate person. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to...

Ian1

Inventor of the windowsill

Watched a documentary last night about the bloke who invented the windowsill. Apparently he was a ledge.......

Hymie

Weight watchers points

If you do oral sex, does it count against your weight watchers points?

carrust

Have you....

.....seen the new vetriloquist website? It's on Gubble-u, Gubble-u, Gubble-u, Got.

maggiebee

McDonalds

I've been banned from McDonalds! A rather plump girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said “sorry about the wait”. I said “don't worry, you’re bound to lose it...

starone

German sex

A German guy approaches one of the ladies of the night. 'I vish to buy zex vit shoo.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £50 an hour.' '..ist gutte, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky, ja?'...

sanderson08

GRAND CHRISTMAS QUIZ

for the attention of spotty dog there was no need to be so cheeky and abusivehow wa i to know you could google corvus corone

Suetheramble

Butterflies

How do butterflies survive over winter - do they lay eggs and die do the caterpillars survive or do the butterflies hide away somewhere?

daginge

Algae in an aquarium

Hi All Long time no speaky, sorry I only come around when I want help................ I have been advised to use a somewhat expensive (not really the crux of the problem) proprietary Phosphate remover...

whatmeworry

How much !

I went to the butchers and asked him if he hadanything on special offer...... he replied "yes, I've got eight legs of venison" "that will be too dear !" i said...

Groupie

The counsel have named a new road in our town Skin Road.

I feel sorry for the folks living in number 4

venator

This is genuine for a change -

I've redecorated the bathroom in black & white. Mrs V bought new black and grey towels to match. I wanted a shower, and couldn't find a towel, so asked where they were. She said "there's grey...

jo1975

Batman Arkham City PS3 - getting past the 3 steam switches

Hi Guys, Can anyone help with a tip to get past the 3 steam switches in the steel mill. We can turn two off, but struggling with the third switch. I'm on the verge of throwing the game out the...

starrs

Last Night..........

.......... I found my dyslexic brother wiping shoe polish on his ****. I said "No! You're supposed to turn your clock back."...

Jemisa

What Happens When ....

What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours? My brother walked into a Chemists shop and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The lady I was talking to said that she...

marval

Labour

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, after my wife had gone into labour, and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me. "Congratulations sir, you are the father of...

guilliebrougues

Animals and Birds quiz

Can snyone please help with a few answers to this quiz. 1. It could smash Bricks on this road to fame. 2,. Embarrasing gear on a note. 3.Alive in it's hide. 4. Happy ending. 19. Tie up your boat dear...

nidhi

COMPLEX NO.

THOUGH I HV BEEN ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS FROM THE SAME TOPIC BT PLZ DON'T GET IRRITATED AND ANSWER THIS QUESTION WID ALITTLE BIT OF MORE EXPLANATIONS. LET A,B,C.X,Y AND Z B COMPLEX NUMBERS SUCH THAT...

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