With appologies to all Yorkshire folk.

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marval | 17:51 Sat 30th Jul 2011 | Jokes
28 Answers
They have a new way of using Ecstasy in Yorkshire,

They Inject it into the mouth

They call it E by gum

But there's also the chap who takes his cat to the vet and says, "Right lad, I needs to talk to thee about me cat."

The vet enquires, "Is it a tom?"

To which the chap replies, "Don't be daft, I've brot it wi'us."

Barnsley Bill's dog dies. As Isaac (the dog) had been with him for so many years he decides to have a modest gold statuette made by yon jeweller.

Discussing his requirements with the jeweller, the jeweller asks, "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Bill smiles and says, "Nay, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger. He were a dog not a rabbit!"

A couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire.
'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.
"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'

"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'
"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.

"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"

'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'

A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - look man, you've left the "e" out, you've left the "e" out!

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -

"E, she were thin".


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Eeh lad, tha' won't mek any brass in't club.............
'scuse me marval, see my post at 12.58 http://www.theanswerb...2.html#answer-6125273

(you must read the same paper as me!)
As a yorkshire woman I do not accept your apology Marvel!

Only jesting! Very good lol :o)
Question Author
Oops, sorry boxy, I got it from a forum I chat on. I hadn't seen your posting.
;-) good un, though!
Question Author
Yes it is a good un
This reminds me, how did fans in Yorkshire ask for the latest release by the band ‘The The’?
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Bloke from Barnsley with a sore *** asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Guv, magnum or cornetto?"
beaten by the censor - @rse was the word
I've never heard anyone in Yorkshire say "Guv"................
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Never heard that either mousey.............I've a friend who lives in Kirkella.
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lol p!ss off mousey...............I knew what you meant but Hull people don't talk like that :-)
Question Author
There was a school hall full of Yorkshire women all being given an exercise lesson by Jane Fonda.

"O.K., ladies. Hands on thighs!"

As one, every woman moved her hands and a voice at the back said "What good's that, then? I can't see 'er now!"
Salt o' turf Yorkshire folk are, so is always taken wi' a pinch o'salt.

Very good I liked em'

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