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An old man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an...
Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language. Mute1 “What would you like to do?" Mute 2 "I don't know what about you?" Mute1 “Let's...
Three young lads were taking and one said "I wish I had some bags of gold, its so valuable I could buy a Ferrari." The second said "No, you need platinum its worth more, you could buy a Maserati with...
Four men are on a golfing weekend. One says "I've had to promise to erect some garden decking to come on this trip." Another says "I've promised the wife I'd paint the garage door when I get back."...
My wife put a lot of weight on during the Lockdowns. Went out for the first time in ages for a meal and the waiter said "How did you enjoy your meal?" "Beautiful," my wife answered. "I ate every bit...
A husband and wife are shopping in Tesco. (other shops are available) The husband puts 12 cans of Stella in the trolley, the wife takes them out saying "They cost £10, they're too expensive!" Further...
An American woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would...
Sixty-one years ago, Kenny James, a North Wales mountain man, was called up by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all...
A MAN KNOCKED ON A DOOR ASKING FOR A DONATION FOR A SWIMMING POOL THA MAN AT THE DOOR GAVE HIM A GLASS OF WATER
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white...
A couple go to the solicitors to arrange a divorce. The solicitor points out that they are not youngsters and asks their age. "I'm 101 and my husband is 103." replies the woman. "Good grief" says the...
What did he say after the death of his 1st wife? " right, who wants steak?"...
A man was asked practical questions at his First Aid exam. "What would you do, if you broke your leg, in 2 places?" He replied, " I wouldn't go back to those 2 places, again." ________________ Paddy...
7 KINDS OF SEX Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind Of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex until you are blue in...
IPA a lot when I drink beer
A little old lady shuffles into a sex shop, she very slowly and shakily makes her way over to the counter. The guy serving is sure that she's made a mistake and come into the wrong shop, however, once...
A jockey is riding the favourite at a Boxing day meeting he rounds the last bend in the lead when he is struck on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages He composes himself and regains the lead...
A man walks into a fruit and veg shop, in Chester and asks "How much is that orange?" "£1" replies the fruitier "At Jones's fruit and veg, near the abattoir, they only charge 50 pence" " Well go and...
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these...
To compensate for the high levels of fuel duty.
Filling stations are to start showing porn films on the fuel pump screens
so you can see someone else being screwed as well as yourself....
