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Rondy

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Rondy

And There's More

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor. More on this after the break. ___ When I die I want my ashes pressed into a record. It is my vinyl...
12:24 Wed 12th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Gas Problem

This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA". "That's interesting, never heard of anything like that...
09:33 Wed 12th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Soccer Hooligan

A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium. “What...
14:13 Tue 11th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Silly Neighbour

Yesterday I saw my neighbour kicking in his own door... Turns out he's a burglar who started working from home....
14:12 Tue 11th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Granny

A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter: "I may die any moment so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, the tractor, the farmhouse & all the livestock." "Wow!!!!" said the...
11:54 Mon 10th Apr 20231 answer, last by maggiebee 10:53 Tue 11th Apr 2023
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Rondy

The Barber

The man sat in the barber's chair and asked for a shave! The barber produced the cut throat razor and said "Have I shaved you before, sir?" "No, I lost my arm in the war!" A man sat in the chair and...
07:27 Mon 10th Apr 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 11:14 Mon 10th Apr 2023
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Rondy

They Keep Coming

My mate goes on Antiques Roadshow with a very rare vase. Fiona Bruce said "How did you acquire the vase" ? My mate said "It was handed down to me" Fiona said "Where from?" My mate said "An upstairs...
14:10 Sun 09th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Kleptomaniacs

I was asked to give a talk at a meeting for Kleptomaniacs. As I walked into the room for the Kleptomania Anonymous meeting I saw a sign that read: "Please come in and take a seat". There weren't any....
12:07 Sun 09th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Growing Older

Remember we old folks are worth a fortune, with silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in our kidneys and gas in our stomachs. While I have become a little older since I saw you last, I have...
11:09 Sun 09th Apr 2023
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Rondy

In Labour

My wife was in labour when the nurse said it was time to push. She gave it everything she had, until a fart, that from sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was mortified. "Don't...
06:58 Sun 09th Apr 20231 answer, last by DTCwordfan 07:47 Sun 09th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Oh!!

Yesterday was national beaver day, dam I missed it. ___ My wife asked how come I push all her buttons. I told her because it's impossible to find the mute button. ___ An ancient Grecian with torn...
14:31 Sat 08th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Sunbathing

A widowed lady, Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel in Rhyl She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, spread his blanket on the sand nearby, and had begun reading a book. Smiling,...
10:04 Sat 08th Apr 20231 answer, last by Ken4155 10:08 Sat 08th Apr 2023
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Rondy

A Few More

The boy scouts went camping with the girl guides, the excitement was in tents. ___ I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a doctor but the security guard suspected I wasn't the real...
15:22 Fri 07th Apr 20231 answer, last by brian j john 15:25 Fri 07th Apr 2023
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Rondy

There's More

A preacher was known for long and boring sermons. He preached for about one hour when he stopped to scold the congregation. He said, "I know you think my sermons are long, but I've got something...
14:27 Fri 07th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Notice Board

Church notice board: Thursday at 5pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study This Easter being Easter Sunday, we...
11:50 Wed 05th Apr 2023
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Rondy

There's More

Did you know: Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs... It's because they're Inca hoots! ___ Nigel, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Nigel...
14:26 Tue 04th Apr 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 14:54 Tue 04th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Male Or Female

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: 1.FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can...
12:45 Tue 04th Apr 20231 answer, last by William51 09:06 Sun 09th Apr 2023
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Rondy

There's More

I just had dinner with my family at Texas Roadhouse and ordered the 11oz hand cut sirloin. It tasted fine but I was extremely disappointed to learn that they used a knife. ___ Most people get on a...
18:41 Mon 03rd Apr 20232 answers, last by Patsy33 10:08 Tue 04th Apr 2023
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Rondy

Lost Football

A homeowner leans over his fence, holding a football, and shouts to two small boys on the other side of the street, "Is this your ball?" "Did it hit anything, mister?" one of the boys asks. "No." "In...
14:24 Mon 03rd Apr 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 10:06 Tue 04th Apr 2023
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Rondy

A Seance

I arrived home late last evening after pre Easter night out with group of people that I hardly knew. I felt a bit lonesome and after watching one of those spiritual shows on satelitte I decided to...
12:16 Mon 03rd Apr 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 12:24 Mon 03rd Apr 2023

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