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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper

Zero Birds This Morning

I always keep my bird feeders well topped up but this morning, I didn't see a single bird! The last few days they were out in force, I just hope they survive. Its about -4c at the moment....
10:16 Thu 01st Mar 201827 answers, last by rowanwitch 12:39 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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Chipchopper

Its Just, Crazy On The Roads!!

This morning, I had to overtake a lorry and wave him down. I shouted to him "you're losing your load mate! He wasn't happy and shouted back "I'm gritting, you idiot!!...
10:37 Wed 28th Feb 20187 answers, last by Patsy33 14:24 Wed 28th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

The Scourge Of Plastic Waste!

What retail outlet will take the lead in ridding plastics from their stores, which inevitably pollute the worlds oceans ?
18:43 Tue 27th Feb 201812 answers, last by hc4361 13:52 Wed 28th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Break In

A drunken man walks into a police station and demands to see the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'l get your chance when the case go's to court" the desk Sargent says. "No...
10:56 Tue 27th Feb 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 16:21 Tue 27th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

A Lasting Impression

I fell asleep on the sofa with a corduroy cushion under my head. Its making headline apparently. I can't see what all the fuss is about!...
11:26 Mon 26th Feb 20184 answers, last by Tilly2 19:25 Mon 26th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

New Hat

Just got a new hat for my wife.....best darn trade I ever made!
10:45 Mon 26th Feb 20186 answers, last by Chipchopper 11:42 Tue 27th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

A

he wanted to check his balance
17:52 Thu 22nd Feb 20182 answers, last by Baldric 17:58 Thu 22nd Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Tightrope Walker

Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank ?
17:50 Thu 22nd Feb 20187 answers, last by zebo 01:31 Fri 23rd Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

First Date

A young man, out on his first date with his new girl friend had booked a table at a local gastro-pub. When their food arrived, the young man asked the waitress "where are the condiments ?" The...
18:45 Mon 19th Feb 20183 answers, last by EDDIE51 23:35 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Get Up Get Up!!

A mother is waking her son: : "Tyler wake up, you have to go to school." "Aw mum, just a bit more sleep please." "No you really have to get up right now." "But I hate school. The children are nasty to...
11:46 Mon 19th Feb 20181 answer, last by zebo 12:28 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

My Dr

My Doctor told me, he had been practicing for 25 years. I think its about time he started doing it for real....
21:12 Sat 17th Feb 20182 answers, last by maggiebee 13:27 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Farmers

Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
21:07 Fri 16th Feb 201818 answers, last by Patsy33 11:10 Sat 17th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Sharp Dressed Man

As I entered the living room, in my shiny new suit, to show it off. I heard my wife say "wow you're a vision!" I replied "oh its just a little something that I threw on". "No not you" she said...
20:51 Thu 08th Feb 20184 answers, last by marval 23:28 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Gas Meter Cabinet

Who has the responsibility for the replacement of the exterior, wall mounted (broken) gas meter cabinets. The service provider, tenant, landlord or property owner ?...
21:53 Wed 07th Feb 20185 answers, last by CrapAtCryptics 07:35 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Callers!

A man came round and knocked on my door and asked for a small donation in aid of the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water....
18:23 Tue 06th Feb 20188 answers, last by marval 23:56 Sun 11th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Gate Crasher

I was mortified when I saw the driver of the refuse collection truck reverse right into my garden gate. I decided not to say anything about his poor driving just in case he took a fence!...
10:43 Fri 02nd Feb 20187 answers, last by Garaman 17:38 Fri 02nd Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Traffic Report

An articulated lorry shed its load of onions, all over the M1 motorway earlier today. Police have advised motorists to find a hard shoulder to cry on...
12:18 Wed 31st Jan 20185 answers, last by Garaman 14:18 Wed 31st Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Whats The Next Line...

Q, What do you call a bird thats forgotten how to sing ?. A, A humming bird....
11:42 Mon 29th Jan 20185 answers, last by zabado 13:09 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Wild West...

A cowboy rides into an old wild west town and shoots dead an artist. The Sheriff asks him "why on earth did you do that ?" The cowboy says "I thought he was gonna draw"...
00:07 Wed 24th Jan 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 10:11 Wed 24th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Ha Hardware

I walked into a shop and noticed all the staff were standing around in a huddle chatting. To try to get some attention, I raised my voice a little and said "will somebody please sell me a kettle!" To...
19:47 Tue 23rd Jan 20186 answers, last by Georgiesmum 00:41 Wed 24th Jan 2018

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