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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Happy Birthday..

Happy birthday to bananasplits...
09:54 Fri 22nd Feb 20197 answers, last by mallyh 19:34 Fri 22nd Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Jigsaw Inventor....

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle died today he was married for over 60 years. His wife is said to be in 1500 pieces....
22:08 Tue 19th Feb 20195 answers, last by spathiphyllum 12:37 Wed 20th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

A Little Girl.....

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.”Where does poo come from?” she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter...
17:18 Mon 18th Feb 20193 answers, last by maggiebee 17:16 Tue 19th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Grounded...

My son just came home with a sofa and an armchair he said" someone just gave them to me" I've grounded him ...I don't know how many times I've told him not to accept suites from strangers!!...
15:48 Mon 18th Feb 20197 answers, last by Patsy33 17:12 Mon 18th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

My Wife...

My wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left....
20:44 Sat 16th Feb 20197 answers, last by tonyav 03:00 Sun 17th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Donate My Clothes

I just got a phone call from a charity asking me to donate any of my old clothes to starving people around the world! I told em you must be joking anyone who fits into my clothes ain't starving!!...
13:24 Fri 15th Feb 20199 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 20:01 Fri 15th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Valentine's Cards ....

Omg I just got 15 Valentines cards! It’s left me completely breathless... That security guard at Clinton’s gave quite a chase I'm knackered now.!...
21:10 Thu 14th Feb 20193 answers, last by marval 23:08 Thu 14th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

My Mil...

My MIL never stops moaning "£2 for a cup of tea...£1 for a biscuit" I said "look I never asked you to visit us you just turned up"...
22:03 Tue 12th Feb 20197 answers, last by EDDIE51 00:19 Wed 13th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Went To The Doctors.....

Had to go to the Doctors yesterday and having stripped off he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone... I explained that it was a family trait and that...
21:30 Mon 11th Feb 201910 answers, last by Patsy33 22:17 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

At The Hospital...!

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted. The...
19:46 Fri 08th Feb 20192 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:50 Fri 08th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Liam Neeson...!

All this fuss about Liam Neeson. I mean every Friday after a few beers I say I could murder an Indian!!...
11:47 Thu 07th Feb 20197 answers, last by Patsy33 12:01 Thu 07th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Dogging....!

I've just put all my dogging equipment up for sale on eBay... Haven't had any bids so far but there are 12 people watching!...
21:24 Wed 06th Feb 20195 answers, last by Old_Geezer 19:25 Thu 07th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

I Went To The Doctors...!

I went to the doctors today and said "Do you treat alcoholics?" He said "Yes, of course we do!" So I said "Any chance of taking me to the pub and buying me a pint then 'cos I'm skint till friday!"...
14:14 Wed 06th Feb 20195 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:39 Wed 06th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Insurance...!

I tried to get some storm insurance for my campsite disaster after bad storm damage. The insurance company said if my tents get blown away I'm not covered!!...
22:01 Mon 04th Feb 20197 answers, last by jno 23:33 Mon 04th Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

A Blind Man Went To A Restaurant.

A blind man went to a restaurant. "Menu sir?" Asked the owner. "I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will smell it & order." The confused owner got a fork. The blind man smelt the fork...
13:19 Sat 02nd Feb 201913 answers, last by marval 18:57 Sat 02nd Feb 2019
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BANANASPLITS

Tv Licence...

Tv licence Man knocked on my door earlier. He said "have you got a tv" I said no ...he said "you must have you have an aerial on your roof. I said "I've got a pint of milk in the fridge but it doesn't...
01:36 Sun 30th Dec 20181 answer, last by Spicerack 01:53 Sun 30th Dec 2018
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BANANASPLITS

This Xmas...

This Xmas. My Wife has just left me because of my Obsession with Small Chocolates. This calls for a 'Celebration'....
17:06 Fri 28th Dec 201819 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:46 Fri 28th Dec 2018
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BANANASPLITS

On Her Death Bed...

A woman on her death bed, called her husband and asked him to open a box from under the bed... Inside he found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash. "What are the eggs for"....? Asks the husband... She replied,...
14:21 Wed 26th Dec 20189 answers, last by retrocop 14:45 Wed 26th Dec 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Dog Lover....

A dog lover, whose female dog came "in heat," was concerned about keeping it and her male separated. But, she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she...
12:29 Wed 26th Dec 20186 answers, last by pjgriffo 22:34 Sun 30th Dec 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Christmas Cluedo...!

We just played the Christmas edition of cluedo! My wife murdered the xmas dinner in the kitchen by the oven!...
13:16 Tue 25th Dec 2018

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