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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS
My missus dressed up as a police woman earlier and giggled "you're being charged for being good in bed" But after 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence .....
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BANANASPLITS
One of the main reasons I sued for divorce was because my wife always made really weak tea... I ended up having to get a restraining order!...
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BANANASPLITS
This afternoon i went for a job interview at the council. The interviewer asked me what i was good at? "Sod all" i said "Can you start monday "he said...
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BANANASPLITS
A Red Indian Chief introduced me to his wife. "This is Four Horses" he said. I said 'Wow, that's a beautiful name, what does it mean? He said, ' Nag, nag, nag, nag!'...
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A vicar gets on a train. In his carriage is a group of five fine looking young ladies. To break the ice, the vicar offers round his bag of Werther's Original and then asks, "So, what do you young...
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BANANASPLITS
I'm giving away a free gate. Honestly i am there's no catch!...
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BANANASPLITS
Our dogs been missing for 6 hours jumped over gate and gone. Ive looked up and down about 20 local streets and cant find him. I've just rang the wife who shouted at me "try looking harder"! So I've...
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BANANASPLITS
People who use selfie sticks need to take a long good look at themselves !
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BANANASPLITS
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin' Catholic!...
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BANANASPLITS
What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather Kinky is using the whole chicken!...
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BANANASPLITS
I hate it when people cant let go of the past! Debt collectors are the worst!...
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BANANASPLITS
Its been said during sex you can burn more calories than doing a 5 mile run! Who the hell can run 5 miles in 30 seconds!...
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BANANASPLITS
The grim reaper visited me late last night and said "im death" I said " thats ok I'll speak a bit louder then "...
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BANANASPLITS
I went to the tattoo shop to get a tattoo of an indian on my back. "Dont forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand" i said. The tattooist said " blimey give us a chance mate ive only just finished his...
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BANANASPLITS
Im sure my mate is having an affair with my wife! Hes been really miserable lately...
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Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy!...
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BANANASPLITS
I've just accidentally dropped all my viagra tablets on the floor after taking one. I'm on all fives on the floor at the moment trying to pick them up!...
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The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am. “What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer. “I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of...
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I think that the wife is doing a salad for lunch...either that or the smoke detector needs a new battery ;-)
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I went to a party with 100 midgets? i love a little get together....

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