Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a posh bungalow. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked... ...
My mate set me up with a blind date. He said "She's a lovely lass, but there's something you should know.......she's expecting a baby." I felt a right prat waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a... ...
HOW TO CLEAN YOUR TOILET:
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In... ...
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In... ...
Shortage...
King Arthur heard that there was discontent in one of the far corners of his kingdom, so he sent two of his finest knights, Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot to check it out. They completed their... ...
A very successful farmer from Texas who traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland decided to take a trip and visit some of his kin. After landing in Dublin, and driving an hour outside of... ...
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in November… I call it my jingle bell rock. ___ Every one in my town wears woollen jumpers that are a size too small.
We're... ...
We're... ...
Big fight at a gypsy wedding in Ireland. Goes to court and the judge says "Can anyone explain what happened?"
Paddy says "I can, I was the best man and I was dancing with the bride. We were... ...
Paddy says "I can, I was the best man and I was dancing with the bride. We were... ...
I tried to make a joke about retired people but none of them work.
___
I nearly didn’t pass my archaeologist exams.
I really had to dig deep.
___
My mate talked me into doing my imitation of soft... ...
___
I nearly didn’t pass my archaeologist exams.
I really had to dig deep.
___
My mate talked me into doing my imitation of soft... ...
Note to all the premature Christmas decorators. Calm down, Mary hasn't even told Joseph she's pregnant yet!
I just heard they are not making the 12 inch ruler any longer.
___
I put vaseline on our front doorknob as a joke. My wife didn't find it funny. In fact she flew off the handle.
___
I was in the... ...
___
I put vaseline on our front doorknob as a joke. My wife didn't find it funny. In fact she flew off the handle.
___
I was in the... ...
..Dogs aren't allowed on AB.. https:/
ShareTweet It’s a small town and not much happens most days, so the town newspaper prints pretty much every little story. But the editor just can’t believe it one day when the new farmer down the... ...
Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife and he says, “I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.” Wife asks, “Is that you, or the whisky... ...
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too... ...
.. not believe American news reporters. https:/
The wife says she wants something silky for Christmas.
I bet this emulsion is the wrong colour.
___
My mate is a celebrity hairdresser, he was once asked to go to Balmoral to cut Prince William’s... ...
I bet this emulsion is the wrong colour.
___
My mate is a celebrity hairdresser, he was once asked to go to Balmoral to cut Prince William’s... ...
..to never fight a pirate. https:/
A priest was sent to a very small church in the outer Hebrides. After a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing. The priest said that it was a really... ...
“Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” asked the policeman.
“No, I just thought my husband had... ...
“No, I just thought my husband had... ...
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