Funeral Tuesday

[Traci66]

Don't know how I'm going to get through it, daughter still not speaking to me after my granddaughter died when I was supposed to be looking after her

[pixie374]

I am so sorry.... heartbreaking for all of you xx

[Cloverjo]

Oh goodness, Traci. How terrible for you and your family.

[ducksie]

Oh Traci, I don't know what to be saying to you, your daughter (all of you) are grieving and you need to believe it was not your fault, or hers. I can only say my heart goes out to you and in time, I hope both you and your daughter can understand that this is not anyone's fault. xxxx It's going to be so hard for you all, my thoughts are with you

[Traci66]

I know what everyone is saying, but I should have woken up earlier, I never slept last night because my 4 year old granddaughter was staying, I was terrified

[Theland]

So sorry. Hope the facts will clear the air. Really.

[LadyCG]

Oh Traci, I cannot begin to imagine the depth of your anguish and pain.

In time your daughter will come to realise that this was just a tragedy of natural causes and in no way a derelection of dutiful care or negligence on your part. Her pain cannot be measured or quantified and she hasn't got it within her right now to accept or process what has happened.

Grief is the price we pay for love.

Thinking of you xxx

[Tilly2]

Traci, do you blame yourself? Have you said, to your daughter, 'It's my fault she died'?

[Traci66]

No answer Theland, cause of death unascertained

[gness]

Oh, Traci....I am so so sorry for what you are all suffering....and most of all for what you are going through....it's just heartbreaking....Gx

[Traci66]

Yes Tilly I have and yes she told me it was my fault

[Tilly2]

Why do you think it was your fault? What was the fault you made?

[sunny-dave]

What a desperately sad situation for everyone.

I hope you can get through the funeral and that (in time) the scars within the family will start to heal.

Dave xx

[Theland]

I promise you, your daughter will realise your double grief in time.
Losing your granddaughter and your daughter lashing out to find ANYBODY to blame, sadly it is you.
Hang in there, one day soon your daughter will fall into your arms and sob her heart out, and you will grieve together.
It will happen, believe me.

[tinkerbell23]

Traci keep chatting.

Im devastated for you!!

People do look for someone to blame when there isnt always someone to blame! Its natural to do that.

Its hard to know what to say but please keep chatting to us xx

[ducksie]

Traci, baby Harley-Rae was fighting from the very day she was born, you were so excited and so caring, you wanted to shout it from the rooftops even though she was premature and had a little battle - please find the strength to let go of those harsh words from your daughter who is in a very dark place right now and has to lash out, always hurt the ones we love, at some point you both will hopefully be able to talk about that night you cared for Baby Hayley-Rae and understand that it was just a fight she couldn't keep up. For the short time she was with you all, she left you with lovely moments and her birth united your family more, don't let her passing legacy be a loving grand mother and her daughter at loggerheads xx

[DTCwordfan]

Traci, folk/family will be looking to flay outwards and apportion blame - it's only natural as they are looking for rational explanations.

Keep talking to your daughter, your friends or, worst case, us......the truth will surface in time - maybe not now, nor in the next week, nor the next month, but at some time....be prepared to forgive some pretty nasty comments/accusations...it won't be easy.

[Mamyalynne]

When we lash out in sadness and grief it's often at those who are closest - all you can do is give her time.

For yourself, you need to know it's almost certain there was nothing more you could have done.

Thinking of you all as you go through this awful awful time.x

[pixie374]

I've just looked at your last thread. I can't see any obvious reason that you 'should have' woken up earlier or could have predicted this. Your daughter is hurt and grieving, as you are. Give her time xxx

[Tilly2]

Traci, I'd still like to know what you think you did wrong. I'm not prying. I'm just trying to ascertain why you are taking your granddaughter's death upon yourself.

[Theland]

Wise words from Mamya with others.
Yes keep chatting.