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Shaglene

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sunny-dave
I have run out of PG Tips :(
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marval
I was waiting in line for a club last night and the guy at the door was checking IDs. He was taking ages. The bank wants to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven’t kept up my mortgage payments...
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Voltage
My missus told me she'd got an invite to a fancy dress party. "Oh, that explains the latex rubber sumo wrestler suit you're trying on" I said She replied "What bloody latex rubber sumo suit? I'm naked...
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Voltage
My mate just came fourth in a Body-Snatching contest. I told him "It's not the winning, it's the taking parts that counts."...
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Chipchopper
When I tried out my new bow and arrows at the club, I was way off target. I'ii have to consult the manual, for trouble shooting....
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Voltage
I've been banned from my local chemist, all I said to the assistant was "Do you swallow or take it up the bum" I didn't know what to do with those suppository thingies!...
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Patsy33
Saw a 70s television programme about two detectives who solve crimes using a TV remote control. Star Key and Hash....
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Voltage
I have an intense fear of speed bumps. But I'm slowly getting over it....
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Voltage
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my Wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now....
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marval
A farmer and his wife had worked hard, and scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being...
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Patsy33
Went to the shop today to buy some lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip....
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Voltage
Feeling down in the dumps, overweight, Unfit, thinking you're getting old, got aches and pains, stiff back? Well just park in a disabled bay at Tesco and everyone will be sure to tell you there's fek...
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Voltage
My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension... She said she just couldn't take it any longer....
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Shaglene
Stormy Daniels and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven The angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only...
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Voltage
My wife caught me in bed with the neighbour. "It's not as bad as it looks love, honest!" I said. "Oh yeah?" she shouted. "Just how much worse can it be?" "Erm. Your sister's hiding in the wardrobe and...
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Patsy33
I'll start with one D.I.V.O.R.C.E Tammy Wynette....
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Voltage
I won't be on answerbank for a while, the Police are investigating me regarding the theft of an Inflatable Mattress....I've gotta lilo! ....
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Voltage
People who use selfie sticks really need to take a good, long look at themselves.
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Voltage
A mime artist broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested. Police say He still has the right to remain silent....
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Shaglene
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford another bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to...

161 to 180 of 858

First Previous 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Next Last