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Rondy

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Rondy

Burglary

“Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” asked the policeman.
“No, I just thought my husband had... ...
13:39 Thu 02nd Nov 20232 answers, last by Patsy33 13:51 Thu 02nd Nov 2023
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Rondy

There's More

My car broke down today. So I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine.
He said: "Hello sir, you are very handsome and a very smart dresser too."
I could see the problem straight... ...
12:40 Thu 02nd Nov 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.” The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police!" With a surprised... ...
14:40 Wed 01st Nov 2023
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Rondy

There's More

You know what they say about cold spaghetti.
Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
___

A young lad knocked on my door for Halloween & said, "Trick or Treat?"
I said, "What have you come... ...
12:26 Wed 01st Nov 20231 answer, last by Canary42 16:27 Wed 01st Nov 2023
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Rondy

Halloween

THE HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY!
Bobbing Apples:
What happens when you leave your bra off while running.
Frankenstein:
Hot dog and a mug of beer.
Full moon:
What your repairman reveals when he bends over to... ...
10:38 Tue 31st Oct 20231 answer, last by Squitty 10:49 Tue 31st Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

I am comforted by porcelain gnomes. In a way they're like my garden angels.
___ The UK economy is so bad that :If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if... ...
10:28 Tue 31st Oct 2023
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Rondy

A Few More

A man tried to sell me a magazine on the High Street.
Bit annoying but not really a Big Issue.
___

I’ve just witnessed a flying saucer.
Now my wife’s throwing the cup as well!
___

I want to know why my... ...
10:23 Tue 31st Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?
Joe: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people participated in it?
Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!
___

“A man walks into a pharmacy... ...
15:25 Mon 30th Oct 20231 answer, last by stocksman 17:51 Mon 30th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Santa

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at... ...
12:15 Mon 30th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Phone Call

My phone rang on the bus this morning and after I'd taken the call, the guy behind me said,"Excuse me, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us? My friend and I heard your phone ringing and... ...
16:42 Sun 29th Oct 20231 answer, last by Hopkirk 16:45 Sun 29th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

Tonight's quiz link, starting at 6pm.   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
15:00 Sun 29th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Repair Shop

A man arrives at the repair shop to pick-up his watch.

Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.

Man: "Sure, no problem."

The man goes and stands right next to the... ...
14:13 Sun 29th Oct 2023
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Rondy

There's More

Found one of my pet fish sleeping at the bottom of the tank - I think it's a kipper!
___

For the first time in 10 years I have a clean licence.
Pity it’s inside the washing machine.
___

Thinking of... ...
12:27 Sun 29th Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
___

I saw a man coming out of Buckingham Palace covered in wallpaper so I asked him what... ...
15:33 Fri 27th Oct 20231 answer, last by retrocop 15:39 Fri 27th Oct 2023
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Rondy

There's More

Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”
___ John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front... ...
13:42 Fri 27th Oct 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?

A: They got married in the spring.
___

Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious... ...
14:21 Thu 26th Oct 2023
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Rondy

A Few More

Had the worst day ever. I paid a joiner to build me a double bed and he's done a bunk.
It's just one thing on top of another.
___

Sadly I couldn't take both of my emotional support vultures on the... ...
11:05 Thu 26th Oct 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:01 Thu 26th Oct 2023
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Rondy

The Undertaker

Bob, an undertaker recently came home with a black eye. His wife asked him: "What happened to you?"
"I've had a terrible day," says Bob.  "I had to go to a hotel where a guest had died in his... ...
15:28 Wed 25th Oct 20232 answers, last by Khandro 11:37 Thu 26th Oct 2023
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Rondy

Delivery Guy

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the centre of town go two lights. Look for the post... ...
14:27 Wed 25th Oct 2023
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Rondy

In The West

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The... ...
10:45 Wed 25th Oct 2023

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