Rondy Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Rondy

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Can't believe my dad lost his job as a roadworker for stealing from them.
But when I went to see him last night all the signs were there.
___ I tried blindfold archery. You should try it, you don't... ...

Rondy

Texas Farmer

A very successful farmer from Texas who traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland decided to take a trip and visit some of his kin. After landing in Dublin, and driving an hour outside of... ...

Rondy

A Few More

I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in November… I call it my jingle bell rock. ___ Every one in my town wears woollen jumpers that are a size too small.
We're... ...

Rondy

Gypsy Wedding

Big fight at a gypsy wedding in Ireland. Goes to court and the judge says "Can anyone explain what happened?"
Paddy says "I can, I was the best man and I was dancing with the bride. We were... ...

Rondy

And There's More

I tried to make a joke about retired people but none of them work.
___

I nearly didn’t pass my archaeologist exams.
I really had to dig deep.
___

My mate talked me into doing my imitation of soft... ...

Rondy

Stevie Wonder

I once gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.

Rondy

Bear Hunting

These bear hunters were sitting around the cabin the night before the hunt bragging about their past hunts.
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seem pretty hard on... ...

Rondy

M&S

Sad news. The man who devised the M&S food ads has died…

He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods! This is not... ...

Rondy

A Few More

A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mum and said, "We fought again, I can't do this anymore. I am coming to live with you."

Mum said, "No darling,... ...

Rondy

And There's More

I just heard they are not making the 12 inch ruler any longer.
___

I put vaseline on our front doorknob as a joke. My wife didn't find it funny. In fact she flew off the handle.
___

I was in the... ...

Rondy

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

QUIZ of the week tonight at 6pm (British time) https://stin.to/f0blx# ...

Rondy

There's More

So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...” ___ Man in jewellers: I need a potato... ...

Rondy

A Few More

The wife says she wants something silky for Christmas.
I bet this emulsion is the wrong colour.
___

My mate is a celebrity hairdresser, he was once asked to go to Balmoral to cut Prince William’s... ...

Rondy

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Just had a Jeovah witness man at my house, he rang the bell, I answered the Door I invited him in, I asked if wanted a drink, he just sat there never said a word, I said OK what's next, he replied......

Rondy

A Small Church

A priest was sent to a very small church in the outer Hebrides. After a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing. The priest said that it was a really... ...

Rondy

A Few More

Why did the homeowner not sue when he fell in the driveway?
It was his own asphalt!
___ I found 5 ants in my front room yesterday today found 5 more apparently they are now tenants. ___

Rondy

Shopping

The clerk asked me, "Cash, cheque or card?" after ringing up my purchase. As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a remote control for a television set in my purse. "Do you always carry your TV... ...

Rondy

Burglary

“Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” asked the policeman.
“No, I just thought my husband had... ...

Rondy

There's More

My car broke down today. So I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine.
He said: "Hello sir, you are very handsome and a very smart dresser too."
I could see the problem straight... ...

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There's More

Texas Farmer

A Few More

Gypsy Wedding

And There's More

Stevie Wonder

Bear Hunting

M&S

A Few More

And There's More

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

There's More

A Few More

There's More

A Small Church

A Few More

Shopping

Burglary

There's More

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