Rondy Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Rondy

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I‘m moving to Greece, should I take my Sky dish with me or just smash it on the floor?
___

Went to the Dr the other day because I’ve started growing a tail,my feet are forming into trotters,I can’t... ...

Rondy

Toast

Murphy drops a slice of buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast... ...

Rondy

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I dig, you dig, we dig,
he digs, she digs, they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it is very deep.
___

The wife said 'lets go out and have some fun tonight'.....
I replied 'okay - but if you are home... ...

Rondy

There's More

What is a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples called.
A guyneckologist.
___

Had a really bad dose of flu, sore throat, total memory loss.
I was hoarse with no name.
___

Quizmaster - Where is Santa... ...

Rondy

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

QUIZ of the week tonight at 6pm https://stin.to/f0blx# ...

Rondy

And There's More

Lance isn't a common name these days.
But in medieval times, people were named
Lance a lot.
__

Job advertisement: burrowing rodent required.
Should I gopher it?
___

Quibbled over the price of Ulysses... ...

Rondy

Girl On A Plane

A not-so-bright girl is flying in a plane when her pilot keels over. She calls out: "Mayday! Mayday! My pilot is dead!"

Air traffic control responds, "Don't worry, I'll talk you through this.... ...

Rondy

There's More

Teacher: I set the class an essay to write about 'My Dog'.
Johnny: Yes sir!
Teacher: Well I think you cheated!
Johnny: No Sir!
Teacher: Then how come your story is word for word the same as your... ...

Rondy

Gladiators

My daughter rang me last night and the conversation went like this.
Her: "You know that Gladiator movie I bought you for Christmas?"
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "Wind it forward one hour, sixteen minutes and 28... ...

Rondy

And There's More

Finished work late the other night, so I popped into a pub on the way home.
I asked someone where I could get a drink and they pointed upstairs.
I got up there and I asked why I had to climb stairs... ...

Rondy

And There's More

God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "Call it a day."
___

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse... ...

Rondy

A Few More

The handyman I employed was supposed to finish a list of things, but only did numbers 1, 3, 5 and 7. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
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Who else would like to see a puppet show without the... ...

Rondy

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Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a posh bungalow. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked... ...

Rondy

How To Clean Your Toilet

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR TOILET:
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In... ...

Rondy

And There's More

I just opened an express clothing alteration company. It's called Tailor Swift. ___ A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.... ...

Rondy

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

The quiz of the week is today at 6pm. (British time) https://stin.to/f0blx# ...

Rondy

There's More

My Chinese friend says he has opened a crows shop.
I said, "Don't you mean clothes shop?"
He said, "No, come and take a rook!"
___

I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.
She's going... ...

Rondy

They Keep Coming

A lady asked me if I would paint her in the nude. I said “ If you don’t mind I will keep my socks on otherwise I will have nowhere to keep my brushes!”
___ So the other day I threw a ball for my... ...

Rondy

The Party

A married couple were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she... ...

Rondy

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Just seen a fight between an Auctioneer and a Hairdresser..
They were going at it hammer and tongs.
___

A lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.... ...

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There's More

Toast

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There's More

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

And There's More

Girl On A Plane

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Gladiators

And There's More

And There's More

A Few More

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How To Clean Your Toilet

And There's More

Sunday Evening Fun Quiz

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They Keep Coming

The Party

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