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Rondy

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Rondy
I had a crazy dream last night guys.
I was swimming in an ocean of orange pop.
Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
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Polce toay have sa they are nvestgatng a strng of ID thefts.
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I don’t know why my... ...
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Rondy
My 5-year-old nephew, Felix, wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game.

"You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?"

"Five," answered Felix.

"Okay,"... ...
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Rondy
I heard this outside Tesco this morning:

I was in line for the ATM, I overheard:
[Person 1]: Blimey, I don't get it..
[Person 2]: What's wrong?
[Person 1]: My card wont work.
[Person 2]: Did anything... ...
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Rondy
Doctors have discovered that wearing a baseball glove increases your chances of catching something!
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For takeaways, I'll only order escargot or turtle soup.
I don't like fast food.
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The wife is... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week starts at 6pm tonight. (British time)   https://stin.to/f0blx#   ...
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Rondy
Little Johnny had finished his summer holiday and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to
tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with... ...
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Rondy
A bloke was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his Doctor.
"Well... ...
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Rondy
Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, "Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women" The ladies were convinced and walked in.
On the first floor a sign... ...
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Rondy
Gloria Gaynor invited 6 people to dinner, but only 5 turned up.
'Never mind' she said 'I will serve 5.'
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My wife had a right go at me when I went to the fancy dress party as a Jelly Baby.
I was... ...
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Rondy
Just caught my penis in my zip…
God it hurts. No more zip up boots for me!
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The bloke who runs our local auction died today.
He was very young…
He must have only been thirty, thirty five, forty,... ...
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Rondy
I hate street performers.
Then again, I'm a mime artist, so I can't really talk.
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I’ve got swim wear with the picture of a forest on them.
They’re my tree trunks.
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Apparently it's Google's 25th... ...
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Rondy
I recently spent £6,500 on my Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he... ...
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Rondy
Anthony Albanese the chirpy Australian Prime Minister, flies to England for a meeting with the king. Over a cup of tea, Albanese brings up his grand new plans for his country.

"Your Majesty, mate,... ...
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Rondy
I reported a large pot hole outside my house to the council. They said that they'd look into it.
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Rondy
Our WiFi went down last night and all the kids came running out their rooms.
Blimey, they haven't half grown!
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Rondy
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called the head waiter to his table. "I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard... ...
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Rondy
Two Irish men, Mick and Paddy are having a drink and watching the football at Mick's house. At full time Paddy gets up to go home but notices it's bouncing down with rain outside.
"Stay the night... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week starts at 6pm tonight. It only takes about 20 minutes and all easy questions. Just follow the link below to join in the fun. https://stin.to/f0blx#   ...
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Rondy
I'm reaching out on behalf of a mate of mine who needs some help. His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.
When he came back he handed her some... ...
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Rondy
"You know, I think everyone should divide their worldly goods with the other fellow," said an office worker to another. "That's a good idea. If you had two thousand pounds would you give me... ...

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