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Rondy

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Rondy
‘Twas the middle of September And all over wales People were driving As slowly as snails. “They must go no faster Than twenty”, they said, Whoever made this up Ain’t right in the head. “It’s quite... ...
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Rondy
Paddy tells Seamus he's going away for a week on holiday, and ,Seamus says to him "Good, can you be pal and bring me back 200 cigarettes", and Paddy says he will do that for him. When they meet up... ...
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Rondy
First my wife said she'd lost her lipstick, then it was her mascara and now she's looking for her blusher.
I wish she'd mind her makeup.
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I thought I’d throw the ball into the crowd after a good... ...
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Rondy
A truck loaded with Vicks Vapor rub overturned on the Highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
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Rondy
My wife said she was fed up with me always getting my directions mixed up..
So I packed my bags and right.
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My wife wants me to take her to Las Vegas to see The Temptations for her birthday....
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Rondy
Jack takes his friend, Tom to show his newly constructed Bungalow.
Reaching main gate:
Jack: "this flower garden has awesome flowers imported from different corners of the world".
Tom: " Wow!!! "
They... ...
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Rondy
My wife has stood by me for twenty years, I really should by another chair.
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Flambéed food.
Turns out it was just a flash in the pan.
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I really like shopping at my local Indian supermarket.
They... ...
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Rondy
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his mobile phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy... ...
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Rondy
A frantic blonde woman calls out a May day. "Mt pilot has had a heart attack and is dead. I don't know how to fly this thing."
She hears a voice on the radio saying: "This is air traffic control, I... ...
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Rondy
QUIZ of the week is today at 6pm. (British time) Nothing to pay and nothing to download. Link below.   https://stin.to/f0blx# ...
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Rondy
My French neighbour popped his head over my fence this morning - He had an accident whilst cleaning his guillotine!
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Superman is taking a midnight stroll past a church, when a priest runs down... ...
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Rondy
There was a bit of confusion in the off-licence last night. When I was ready to pay for my whisky, the young lady check-out assistant said to me, 'Strip down facing me.' I did just as she had... ...
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Rondy
Paddy's wife gave birth to triplets. "How in God's name did that happen?" says Paddy.
"Remember that night when I was very dry and we had no Vaseline and we had to use 3 in 1 oil?"
"BeJaysus," says... ...
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Rondy
I told myself I should stop drinking!
But I'm not going to take advice from a drunk who talks to himself!
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I went out with a girl who was a discus thrower for a short while but it was only a... ...
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Rondy
A lorry carrying incontinence pants has shed its load on the motorway.
Police are warning of long delays due to rubberknickers!
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She leaned over the kitchen table and squealed, "Smack that bottom.... ...
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Rondy
I was talking with my mother-in-law about our daughter's picky eating habits. "She refuses to eat fish," I told her. "Any recommendations for a replacement?" She thought a moment, then answered,... ...
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Rondy
My wife must think I'm an  athlete She said to me you've been out 3 nights running.
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I said to the window cleaner I've confiscated your ladders and if I catch you looking at my wife through the... ...
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Rondy
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used... ...
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Rondy
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.

"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.

"There be two pints in... ...
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Rondy
Did you know that it's now been proven that pets that chew your furniture have a suite tooth!
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At Ornithology Club we always have someone do a ‘show & tell’ of their pet birds.
Next week it’s my... ...

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