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McMouse

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McMouse
Resist invasion.
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McMouse
Had a dozen on Saturday night. Only three worked.
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McMouse
Last night my wife sent me a text, saying she was in casualty. When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it,.......... never saw her once. She still hasn't come home yet. I'm starving....
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McMouse
Who is the 2015 champion?
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McMouse
Is it time to put the sprouts on yet?
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McMouse
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She's...
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McMouse
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around...
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McMouse
63 immigrants seriously hurt in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed. The police are blaming AL IKEA....
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McMouse
I had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat. To top it...
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McMouse
A German guy approaches a lady of the night. 'I vish to buy sex viz you.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge 20 an hour.' '..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.' 'No problem,' she...
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McMouse
A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher. I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my...
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McMouse
Teacher Arrested At London Heathrow Airport - held in isolation. A secondary school teacher was arrested today at London's Heathrow International airport as he attempted to board an international...
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McMouse
A golfer is cupping one hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the Saint Andrew's Golf Course. A green keeper sees him and shouts, "Dinnae drink the waater! Et's foo ae coo's *** and pish." The...
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McMouse
Harry Goldberg dies and his widow asks the local paper to do a 'death notice'. When they ask what she wants printed she replies "Goldberg Dead" They inform her she has to pay for a minimum of 5 words...
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McMouse
A man received the following text from his neighbour: "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're...
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McMouse
An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who,...
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McMouse
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Buttocks clenched, he...
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McMouse
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves;...
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McMouse
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a great huge, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he...
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McMouse
I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch. I've got four Pakistani flags raised in my garden - one at each corner- and the black flag of ISIS in the centre. The local...

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