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McMouse

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McMouse

The Rake

I was working in the garden this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn't find the rake.. I yelled up to my wife, “Where is the rake?" She couldn't hear me and she...
09:59 Mon 22nd Jun 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 17:02 Mon 22nd Jun 2015
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McMouse

A Prostitute's Tax Return…

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address etc....
09:56 Wed 17th Jun 20153 answers, last by MrDynamite1 12:00 Wed 11th Mar 2020
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McMouse

Colin The Aborigine

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party...
11:25 Thu 04th Jun 20158 answers, last by askyourgran 22:56 Sun 07th Jun 2015
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McMouse

A Recent Press Item:

"The Northampton Police report finding a man's body in the River Nene, near Becketts Park . The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned...
09:55 Fri 15th May 20152 answers, last by Quizmonkey 11:36 Fri 15th May 2015
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McMouse

Descartes Pig?

I stink therefore I ham.
13:04 Tue 05th May 20157 answers, last by shoota 13:28 Tue 05th May 2015
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McMouse

Normal Working Family

Politicians tell us what they are going to do for "the normal working family" but never seem to explain what this term means. How would you define it?...
11:42 Fri 17th Apr 20157 answers, last by naomi24 13:36 Fri 17th Apr 2015
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McMouse

The Post Tortoises

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic...
10:15 Mon 13th Apr 20153 answers, last by waterboatman 07:01 Thu 16th Apr 2015
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McMouse

6 Nations Happiness

Happiness is surely Italy thrashing Wales, Scotland hammering Ireland and ENGLAND obliterating France....
13:01 Sat 21st Mar 201510 answers, last by gness 19:15 Sat 21st Mar 2015
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McMouse

Good Advice

I don't know if you found a new doctor yet, but this one sounds pretty good to me, Love this Japanese Doctor! Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A:...
10:44 Wed 18th Mar 20153 answers, last by marval 20:09 Thu 19th Mar 2015
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McMouse

March 4Th

Resist invasion.
10:57 Wed 04th Mar 201510 answers, last by stuey 16:02 Wed 04th Mar 2015
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McMouse

Oysters Were Disappointing

Had a dozen on Saturday night. Only three worked.
11:28 Mon 16th Feb 20158 answers, last by shoota 17:00 Mon 16th Feb 2015
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McMouse

The Other Half

Last night my wife sent me a text, saying she was in casualty. When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it,.......... never saw her once. She still hasn't come home yet. I'm starving....
11:12 Mon 16th Feb 20156 answers, last by Hopkirk 07:53 Tue 17th Feb 2015
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McMouse

Haggis Hurling

Who is the 2015 champion?
16:42 Tue 10th Feb 20154 answers, last by Old_Geezer 16:46 Tue 10th Feb 2015
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McMouse

Christmas Dinner

Is it time to put the sprouts on yet?
15:51 Tue 10th Feb 201514 answers, last by AlwaysConfused 20:02 Tue 10th Feb 2015
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McMouse

Fancy That

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She's...
11:35 Mon 09th Feb 20154 answers, last by jourdain2 21:15 Sun 12th Apr 2015
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McMouse

Twelve Inches

An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around...
12:05 Fri 30th Jan 20152 answers, last by cupid04 18:48 Fri 30th Jan 2015
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McMouse

Disaster

63 immigrants seriously hurt in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed. The police are blaming AL IKEA....
11:47 Thu 29th Jan 2015
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McMouse

Power

I had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat. To top it...
11:41 Thu 29th Jan 2015
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McMouse

Bottom Of Barrel!

A German guy approaches a lady of the night. 'I vish to buy sex viz you.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge 20 an hour.' '..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.' 'No problem,' she...
16:35 Thu 15th Jan 20155 answers, last by McMouse 13:54 Fri 08th Oct 2021

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