Crosswords2 mins ago
Cheer Me Up!
17 Answers
I’ve had one hell of a day what with one thing and another. So I don’t care what it is - a daft story, comment, joke, something daft, anything will do lol. Even what you’ve done today x
Answers
1 to 17 of 17
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An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are sitting at the bar.
Each orders a pint when to their amazement, they each have a fly landing on the foam.
The Englishman says in disgust, he's not drinking that.
The Irishman flicks the fly off and starts supping.
The Scotsman picks the fly up, squeezes the fly and says 'spit it oot ya wee sausage'
Each orders a pint when to their amazement, they each have a fly landing on the foam.
The Englishman says in disgust, he's not drinking that.
The Irishman flicks the fly off and starts supping.
The Scotsman picks the fly up, squeezes the fly and says 'spit it oot ya wee sausage'
oh, nephew engaged - excuse for a poss up
and a bit hung over....
the fiancee is from a war zone kind of - norf in fact - and we thought it was would be a marriage made - with bullet vests
but it will be in london reg office
( so stab vests will do hur hur hur)
need cheering up ? what about a garlic festival
o god I have got it in the neck over that on another thread
still I tried
and a bit hung over....
the fiancee is from a war zone kind of - norf in fact - and we thought it was would be a marriage made - with bullet vests
but it will be in london reg office
( so stab vests will do hur hur hur)
need cheering up ? what about a garlic festival
o god I have got it in the neck over that on another thread
still I tried
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs?
A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs?
A dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O.?
A stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano?
A plinky plonky stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano in the style of ragtime?
A honky tonky plinky plonky stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano in the style of ragtime and drives a bus?
*** talented !!!
A wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs?
A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs?
A dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O.?
A stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano?
A plinky plonky stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano in the style of ragtime?
A honky tonky plinky plonky stinky dinky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a small donkey with 1 eye and 3 legs that has bad B.O. that plays the piano in the style of ragtime and drives a bus?
*** talented !!!
Hope you feel better soon Smow.
In a pub, at the bar:
Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?
Barman: You have to buy a drink first.
C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.
B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?
C: Carling, please.
B: Here you are. That'll be £3.
C: Thank you (pays £3). So, what's the password?
B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.
In a pub, at the bar:
Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?
Barman: You have to buy a drink first.
C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.
B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?
C: Carling, please.
B: Here you are. That'll be £3.
C: Thank you (pays £3). So, what's the password?
B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.
"Mummy, i don't like grandad."
"Well leave him on the side of your plate, dear."
Waiter; "And how did sir find his steak?"
Customer; "I just lifted up a chip and there it was."
"Mummy, mummy, can we play with granny?"
"No, you've dug her up twice already today."
"Daddy, how long will it take us to get to Australia?"
"Shut up and keep digging."
"Ma, get the iodine out."
"What fer, son?"
"Pa's bit the dawg agin."
"Well leave him on the side of your plate, dear."
Waiter; "And how did sir find his steak?"
Customer; "I just lifted up a chip and there it was."
"Mummy, mummy, can we play with granny?"
"No, you've dug her up twice already today."
"Daddy, how long will it take us to get to Australia?"
"Shut up and keep digging."
"Ma, get the iodine out."
"What fer, son?"
"Pa's bit the dawg agin."
Three men walking along the beach, met a mermaid. The fist one said; "Have you ever been cuddled?"
"No" she said. So he gave her a really big cuddle. The second one said; "Have you ever been kissed?"
"No" she said. So he gave her the biggest kiss ever.
The third man said; "Have you ever been fkd?"
"No" she said. The man said; "Well, you are now. The fkn tide's just gone out"
"No" she said. So he gave her a really big cuddle. The second one said; "Have you ever been kissed?"
"No" she said. So he gave her the biggest kiss ever.
The third man said; "Have you ever been fkd?"
"No" she said. The man said; "Well, you are now. The fkn tide's just gone out"
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