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Mad Over Fifties Club
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Evening all, and welcome back to Nungate Towers for the latest meeting of the Mad Over Fifties Club.
On tonight's agenda we are having an inflatable party down in the indoor swimming pool. Plant has spent today blowing up so many, inflatable toys (sorry no inflatable dolls) poor soul I fear he might not have enough puff left to serve our members this evening! The minstrels will again be taking their place in the Great Hall gallery, playing their customary selection of madrigals and fugues, while down by the pool, we have Troy Tempest and the Stingrays providing the music for the pool party and also for the Muckleflugga and Penge Formation drow.... oops Swimming Team.
Our hot plate special tonight is a sea food platter a melange of all sorts of
fish and shellfish (also available for those with an intense dislike of all things fishy, namely me, we have a delicious lasagne) on the pudding trolley tonight there is Sussex Pond pudding, with lashings of custard or whipped cream. Naturally, we also have everyone's favourites, volly vonts and canopies. The Tailcock tonight is the Little Mermaid, and intriguing concoction I think and right up there with some of the best efforts of our resident mixologist! For those members who prefer a less riotous time, rest assured, your needs have also been catered for. There are roaring fires in the Snug, the Games Room and also in the Library, where members are free to peruse the shelves and where they can also find the latest editions of all the popular magazines and periodicals, I believe we have just received the latest edition of Corn Plasterers Monthly.
For the rofl tonight I offer:
half a bag of John Innes No3 compost
a selection of broken flower pots
a jumble of tangled embroidery threads (thank you Teddy)
1 kitten in need of a good home .... (kidding! wouldn't part with him)
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals
carriages at midnight
On tonight's agenda we are having an inflatable party down in the indoor swimming pool. Plant has spent today blowing up so many, inflatable toys (sorry no inflatable dolls) poor soul I fear he might not have enough puff left to serve our members this evening! The minstrels will again be taking their place in the Great Hall gallery, playing their customary selection of madrigals and fugues, while down by the pool, we have Troy Tempest and the Stingrays providing the music for the pool party and also for the Muckleflugga and Penge Formation drow.... oops Swimming Team.
Our hot plate special tonight is a sea food platter a melange of all sorts of
fish and shellfish (also available for those with an intense dislike of all things fishy, namely me, we have a delicious lasagne) on the pudding trolley tonight there is Sussex Pond pudding, with lashings of custard or whipped cream. Naturally, we also have everyone's favourites, volly vonts and canopies. The Tailcock tonight is the Little Mermaid, and intriguing concoction I think and right up there with some of the best efforts of our resident mixologist! For those members who prefer a less riotous time, rest assured, your needs have also been catered for. There are roaring fires in the Snug, the Games Room and also in the Library, where members are free to peruse the shelves and where they can also find the latest editions of all the popular magazines and periodicals, I believe we have just received the latest edition of Corn Plasterers Monthly.
For the rofl tonight I offer:
half a bag of John Innes No3 compost
a selection of broken flower pots
a jumble of tangled embroidery threads (thank you Teddy)
1 kitten in need of a good home .... (kidding! wouldn't part with him)
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals
carriages at midnight
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Nungate lived in a little colossal Scottish hoose,
With a little black kitten and a little gray moose,
And a little Queenie and a clapped out Renault wagon,
And a real-io, trul-io, little pet dragon.
Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray moose, she called her Blink,
And the little Queenie was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a Nessie wuss, and she called him Custard.
Custard the dragon had big sharp incisor teeth,
And spikes on top and scales on his privates underneath,
Mouth like the Towers fireplace, a Auld Reekie chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio, skean dhus on his toes.
Our Nungate was as brave as a barrel full of Daisy's bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lie-in-kings down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a Queenie tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe stable and cage.
Nungate tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little Reanult wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.
Nungate giggled till she shook the hoose,
And Blink said Week!, which is giggling for a moose,
Ink and Queenie Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe stable and cage.
Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Nungate,
For there was a Tony, climbing in the porto-cullis gate.
Pistol in his left hand, pistol in heis right,
And he held in his balsa teeth a cutlass bright,
His stubble was white and black, one leg was pine wood;
It was clear that this Villa-ite meant no good.
Nungate paled, and she cried, Help! Help!
But Queenie Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the hoosehold,
And little mouse Blink strategically mooseholed.
But up jumped Custard, snorting like a Volvo engine,
Clashed his tail like Igor's irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm
He went at the Tone like a robin at a worm.
The Tonee gaped at Nungate's dragon,
And gulped some goat grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets but they didn't hit,
And Custard nibbled him, every bollock and bit.
Nungate embraced him, Queenie licked him,
No one concerned for his Tone victim
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the Tonetyrate.
Nungate still lives in her colossal white Tower-hoose,
With her little black kitten and her little gray moose,
And her Queenie and her clapped out Renault wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.
Nungate is as brave as a barrel full of Daisy's bears,
And Ink and Blink chase Lie-In-King down the stairs,
Queenie is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe moat and cage
With a little black kitten and a little gray moose,
And a little Queenie and a clapped out Renault wagon,
And a real-io, trul-io, little pet dragon.
Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray moose, she called her Blink,
And the little Queenie was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a Nessie wuss, and she called him Custard.
Custard the dragon had big sharp incisor teeth,
And spikes on top and scales on his privates underneath,
Mouth like the Towers fireplace, a Auld Reekie chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio, skean dhus on his toes.
Our Nungate was as brave as a barrel full of Daisy's bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lie-in-kings down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a Queenie tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe stable and cage.
Nungate tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little Reanult wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.
Nungate giggled till she shook the hoose,
And Blink said Week!, which is giggling for a moose,
Ink and Queenie Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe stable and cage.
Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Nungate,
For there was a Tony, climbing in the porto-cullis gate.
Pistol in his left hand, pistol in heis right,
And he held in his balsa teeth a cutlass bright,
His stubble was white and black, one leg was pine wood;
It was clear that this Villa-ite meant no good.
Nungate paled, and she cried, Help! Help!
But Queenie Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the hoosehold,
And little mouse Blink strategically mooseholed.
But up jumped Custard, snorting like a Volvo engine,
Clashed his tail like Igor's irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm
He went at the Tone like a robin at a worm.
The Tonee gaped at Nungate's dragon,
And gulped some goat grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets but they didn't hit,
And Custard nibbled him, every bollock and bit.
Nungate embraced him, Queenie licked him,
No one concerned for his Tone victim
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the Tonetyrate.
Nungate still lives in her colossal white Tower-hoose,
With her little black kitten and her little gray moose,
And her Queenie and her clapped out Renault wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.
Nungate is as brave as a barrel full of Daisy's bears,
And Ink and Blink chase Lie-In-King down the stairs,
Queenie is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe moat and cage
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