Hi I'm Still New

[bobtheturkey]

Whilst closing the slightly stained net curtains in my caravan tonight I noticed a humanoid figure seemingly made up of orange b&q buckets in the field opposite
I hope this is a scarecrow created by Mr Scuttlelung the local farmer and not a entity from another dimension, in the event of the latter I am creating a weapon by way of a slingshot fashioned by turnips and the elastic of my underpants, I will endeavour to keep you all posted

[gness]

I hope you do keep us posted but how are you going to keep your underpants up now?

[anneasquith]

Stay safe out there .

[gness]

Well I’m worried about Bob using a slingshot as he holds his pants up with one hand, Anne. God knows what he’ll hit.

[Chipchopper]

Try using an old bra, you can shoot with two turnips at once

[1ozzy]

Not every bloke has old bra's Chip.
Only those with moobs.

[Chipchopper]

Okay, how about filling socks with turnip amo, thus swinging them around, overhead and releasing them at the entity ?

[1ozzy]

Sock turnip slingshot?
I love the idea.
Would it work on my neighbours cats that yowl, bonk and fight under my bedroom window nearly every night?

[Chipchopper]

Suer it would, stick a boomerang in the socks to ensure they come back.

[1ozzy]

Good thinking, might use my woomera too.
That extra force and distance would surely do the trick.

[sunny-dave]

Bob must have missed with the pantsling ....

https://www.familyhandyman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/shutterstock_1020894919.jpg?fit=696,696

[Zacs-Master]

I'm worried.

Ground Control to Captain Bob.....Over

Ground Control to Captain Bob.....Over

[sunny-dave]

[Zacs-Master]

Probably being probed, as we speak.

(maybe by Farmer Scuttlelung!)

[aelmpvw]

my doris is aghast at the slightly stained net curtains . . .

[sunny-dave]

I fear for Bob ...

https://tinyurl.com/bdhtypan

[albaqwerty]

Serenade the entity with your tin whistle

[sunny-dave]

Is that a euphemism, alba - or are you just pleased to see Bob ... ?

[Bazile]

What's with these buckets references that crops up from time to time - what am I missing ?

[sunny-dave]

Bob is the 'AB influencer' for B&Q Orange Buckets, Bazile - he has a aspecial exemption from the advertising ban because he knows where the bodies are bucketed.

[albaqwerty]

I'm always pleased to see Bob, Dave :-)
Seeing his name makes my bucket glow and the handles pert