Misunderstandings

[mallyh]

a few years ago I was making pancakes and realised i'd forgotten lemons so asked mr mally to go to coop and get some jif ,he came back with jif cleaner lol xx please tell me your funny misunderstandings ,i'm so bored I need a laugh x

[Cloverjo]

My dad used to keep crickets to feed his pet spider. One day I went to see him and just asked how the crickets were coming along. He said “They’re all out!” I was expecting to see them crawling all over the floor and walls having got out of the tank, but it turned out he thought I’d meant the England cricket team. Phew! Or not!

[TonyV]

bit like my reduced Ginger Bread Christmas trees from my Co Op they don't fit together correctly. But sure gingerbread will taste ok.

[Peter Pedant]

yeah er OK
imagaine a street in London - well heeled
and the lady of the house says to the fella - lets call him er Boris
Go out and honour some good people

and he comes back and she finds he has given knighthoods to Fluella Saunders the quite awful DPP and Ian Duncan SMith

hows about that for a misunderstanding ?

Allison - she looks like a FLuella

[mushroom25]

A wife asks her programmer husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6?”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk and his wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replies, “They had eggs.”

[Old_Geezer]

I recall my brother, one Christmas long ago when we were kids, being asked by our mother to go to the CooP to get some mincemeat for the pies, as other places had closed early and she needed some. He came back saying this was all he could get; with a tin of stewing steak !

[TonyV]

lol OG

[Peter Pedant]

yeah yeah
London again
and the lady of the house says

honour some good peope and make sure half are women ( hard workers all)
and the fair haired lover comes back

and says look I have honoured half of the people as women and they all have a pair of - - -

and SHE says - no it is the complete set of - - - that are men that I am worried about !

ter daaah ! ay thenk yor

[mallyh]

lol enjoying these x
peter you are putting things that are far above my intelligence x

[jennyjoan]

when I was about 10 my mother who was peeling whatever asked me for the colander and I climbed on a chair and got her a calendar.

[jennyjoan]

my sister was at mass with her boyfriend many years ago and when it came to the time when you say "peace be with you" - he said "pleased to meet you". Sister corrected him and he said "ach it's the same thing".

[Peter Pedant]

oh the missing word rhymes with bits
the idea being that the men honoured are bigger bits by far than the women

[DTCwordfan]

someone I know in Falmouth with a wine shop and a bit of a chef went off to an Air BnB in Milan with a group. He said that he would cook, an opener of linguine vongole.

All went well until he came to serve it. It was only after they had tasted it, he came to realise that he had used dishwasher powder rather than salt to season it........or they were all suddenly suffering an epileptic fit.

[Patsy33]

I went into Lloyds chemist shop once and asked female assistant if they kept Jovan Musk for women. She looked at me for quite a while with a confused look on her face, and said, "Jehovah?"...

[Sparkles62]

Many years ago, as a young wife, my first husband asked me to pick up some buns when I was shopping.
I came back with a pack of bread buns, he wasn't impressed, where he came from, what he called buns, we called fairy cakes. Lol.

[pixie374]

I'm not sure whether this was a "misunderstanding" or not lol. But my son asked my 4 year old granddaughter, what her favourite animal was... and she said "nanna". :-)

[Theland]

Dad used to love fish, rolled in flour and fried.
Brother in law called in to check on him, found him flying fish, and concerned about its colour.
Brother in law checked, and it turned out Dad had rolled his fish in Polyfila.

[Buenchico]

As a child, my mother assumed that the King must be very fond of plums, due to the line in the National Anthem which ran "Send him Victorias . . . " ;-)

[JimF]

Many years ago a new family moved into the village. I suggested that we should maybe take them out. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that they'd all been murdered, which wasn't what I'd meant at all! Luckily everyone saw the funny side.

[Theland]

Where do you live? Midsommer?

[RATTER15]

As I have just said on my birthday thread. "when you have prostate problems and they tell you you are going for a "digital" examination, it aint anything "computerised or digital" it means a digit!!! Ouch!!!! I was looking forward to this new technology until I saw the KY jelly and the gloved hand, What The Funicular!!!!