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Some Quickies...

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Jemisa | 21:59 Sun 01st Jul 2012 | Jokes
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Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary
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Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking
for some hot action. So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy Bitch busy.
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I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
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After a night of drink and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house.
Turns out she was a Slovak
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Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
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I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
Nothing.
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A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
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I have just had my water bill of £100 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can
supply a whole African village for just £2 a month. Time to change supplier I think.
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Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.

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lol, good ones Jem.
Great ones there.
Brilliant Jem, love them
I like these Jem.
Laughed my tail off !
Brill as usual, especially no.3 and the last one .......
very good jem, very good :-D

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