Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
The company behind Monopoly have reported further European losses and a drop in sales. It's feared some staff will be given the Boot
...found out I'm colour blind. That came like a bolt from the green..
I once lived in a home with four foot ceilings.
I couldn't stand living there. ___ Charles, a new retiree-greeter at Asda, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15... ...
I couldn't stand living there. ___ Charles, a new retiree-greeter at Asda, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15... ...
We were so poor, my father used to shut all the doors in the house, so we would have something to open on Christmas morning.
Wife: I'm going shopping, do you need anything? Husband: I'm looking for inner-peace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a medium through which I can transcend... ...
To the person who dumped their old matress in my garden I don't know how you sleep at night!
Today I learned that if you flip a canoe over, you can wear it as a hat...
Because it is cap-sized! ___ My sat nav broke.
I asked my wife for £200 to get a new one.
She said Get lost. ___ I have been... ...
Because it is cap-sized! ___ My sat nav broke.
I asked my wife for £200 to get a new one.
She said Get lost. ___ I have been... ...
At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep.
Probably why I lost my job as a fireman. ___ Went to my first... ...
Probably why I lost my job as a fireman. ___ Went to my first... ...
Two female rhinos were drinking at a watering hole, when one said to the other ‘Don’t look now, but over there is the male rhino I really fancy. Her friend asked ‘Do you know his name?’ Yes, she... ...
When a recipe tells you to separate 2 eggs, how far is acceptable?
I've just put one on a train to Aberdeen. ___ There are 3 fish that start and end with the letter K.
Killer Shark.
Kippered Haddock....
I've just put one on a train to Aberdeen. ___ There are 3 fish that start and end with the letter K.
Killer Shark.
Kippered Haddock....
I just burnt my fingers in boiling oil and screamed "OOH OOH AAH AAH" like a monkey.
It was a chip pan, see. ___ When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work... ...
It was a chip pan, see. ___ When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work... ...
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today…Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under
your vehicle...especially in public.
A couple who drove their car to Tesco only to have their car
break down in the car park.
The man told... ...
your vehicle...especially in public.
A couple who drove their car to Tesco only to have their car
break down in the car park.
The man told... ...
Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.”
“Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans... ...
“Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans... ...
The wife told me the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a 9 iron but I still got it well over the shed.
***************** I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer came across... ...
***************** I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer came across... ...
I've finally found the courage to open the first door on my Oscar Pistorius advent calendar! _____ My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage…
I take that as a... ...
I take that as a... ...
Advice needed please. I'm lucky enough to be on holiday from Dec 26th to Jan 15th and would love to go to a quiet beach, without crowds, preferably in the Caribbean or Indian Ocean. Ideally a child... ...
I was standing in a queue behind a very big fat woman with a huge ***. When her phone started to bleep, a little boy behind her shouted: "Watch out, she's reversing." ___ Jesus Christ was... ...
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours.
So they called it a day.
___
I wrote a book about an amazing basement.
.It was a best cellar.
___
I ordered a Hans Solo steak at a... ...
So they called it a day.
___
I wrote a book about an amazing basement.
.It was a best cellar.
___
I ordered a Hans Solo steak at a... ...
I was at the airport the other day and a bloke fainted face down on the baggage carousel….. He came around eventually.
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