I've Had Enough

[mallyh]

my son went into rehab again for a month he said. 10 days later I get a text i'm back .2nd text 5 minutes later hows dad. (oh had cancer op)can you give me some money . I asked if he had been thrown out or walked out he said I just went for detox and feel really ill .I have just had enough and told him no you are on your own from now on why do I feel bad ?we have supported him through everything for 20 years and it's drained us .

[Barmaid]

You feel bad because you are his mother. And because whatever you do for him, it is never enough. This is a brave decision you have made and I'm sorry you felt forced into a situation where you had to make it.

[Islay]

Mally he is an addict you should not have any guilt at all - you have done your best for him xx

[rowanwitch]

You have to wait til he is ready for recovery if he ever is. One day you might get him back I hope you do. Be strong people with a safety net never learn the consequences of falling and he needs to hit the ground.

[nailit]

Cant imagine anything worse than seeing your child destroy themselves through drug abuse.

[Mamyalynne]

It's natural you feel the way you do, he has made his choices despite all the help.

Accepting you have done all you can is hard but you must do it.

[mallyh]

thankyou for your replies ,it is heartbreaking to see him destroying himself but he is a horrible person now, expecting a hand out all the time .so different when not on drugs but I have oh to look after and I really can't bear to see him anymore.

[rowanwitch]

You will always be his mum, He as forgotten because of his lifestyle the duties of being a son, concentrate on your OH get him well and decide from there.

[albaqwerty]

it's only natural you feel the way you do, as has been said.

Concentrate on your OH and yourself.

He is an adult and should act like one.

Sending you ((hugs)) xx

[Eleena]

Hi Mally,
you've posted before about your son? 20 years is a hell of a long time it's impacted on you all. 20 years of hope. Direct your strengths to your husband now. How can you possibly say you haven't tried your very best x

[mallyh]

thankyou xx is there anyone on ab who has had a drug addict child ,I just can't see a good ending to this now .

[Songbirdy]

You need professional advice. Try DrugFam Tel [phone] they help the families of drug addicts. You have done all you can do, it is time for you to have some help. I hope there is a positive out come for you.

[albaqwerty]

I only know of one, Mally, but I don't feel comfortable in posting their user-name.
If I see them around, I'll ask them to have a look here. x

[mallyh]

we have had help from the centre we paid for him to go to .
thanks alba xx

[nailit]

Not quiet in the same league as ur son mally but my son was at one time smoking an awful lot of weed and I know that hes tried most other things at least once (coke, shrooms, smack, speed) Since hes got himself a bird he hardly touches the weed now.
I do know of other people that have had long standing drug habits of 20+ years who eventually got clean after many, many attempts. Sadly I know of others who didn't.

[mallyh]

the way he is going I don't see him around in years ,how he has lived till now I don't know .

[mallyh]

I know spath I think deep down he loves us ,he always says sorry but you're the only person I can ask .but i'm just drained x

[Patsy33]

As sad as it is, your priority is your oh now Mallyh..xxx

[marval]

I am sorry to hear this Mallyh, you have done the best you can. There comes a time when you have to say no to your son. You feel bad because he is your son, no matter what. You now have to concentrate on your OH and you. You do not need to make yourself ill, hopefully your son will realise he is at rock bottom. Then he will accept any professional help he can get.

My thoughts and prayers are you at this difficult time. xx.