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When was the last time

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omelette | 14:29 Tue 14th Jul 2009 | Body & Soul
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you were ill on drink. Seriously ill, as in toilet bowl hugging, crashed out on the floor, paralytic ill lol.
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fekkin rubbered is what we call it up here.......as in the bendy walk.....thats when its time to go to bed...or bogroom floor..or landing.....hallway ......or halfway up the stairs has been known...:-(
Exactly, Snags :-)

Actually, I usually fall asleep before I am even able to consume a sickening quantity of alcohol. And I tend to stick to just wine these days, and seldom mix the grape and the grain.
Paddy had been drinking down at his local pub all day. Mick the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy!"
Paddy replies, "Ok Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins round on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite", he says and pulls himself up by the stoool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.

"Shoite,

Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air, he'll be fine. He belly crawls up to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath, feels much better, takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus....I'm f0ckin f0cked," he says.

He sees his house just a few doors down and crawls to the door. He hauls himself up the door frame and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says. "No f0ckin way!"
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom and says, "I can make it to bed." He steps into the room and falls flat on his face. "F0ck it", he says and falls into bed.

The next morning his wife comes into the room and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I was f0ckin p!ssed. But how did you know?"

"Mick phoned.......you left your wheelchair in the pub!"


NoMercy Thurs 05/03/09 21:28
That's soooooo old NM :-)
Well don't we all have a wonderful way with words? LOL
charmers arent we?... :-))
''Hi Snags, you had a mention on Kiss FM this morning''

Did I? The news was it? 'Nekked man seen running from Tescos with a frozen chicken under his arm' lol...

It was a bet...
PMSL what an image snags!
I think the joke should get stars!
It should have been a turkey... wrong time of year... wrong frozen food cabinet... I was in a hurry!!
I'm sure there were still some giblets...
I was once violently sick all over my friend's mum's new carpet - this would have been 1981. I felt so awful for days. I decided to give up then.

I have had some wine since then - but not much.

I can get hyper and happy drinking water.
snags......big tesco's circa 2008?.....wondered where you went.... :-/....
That's the one joby... the one where I went @rse over t!t in the petrol station and you sat in the car laughing your head off :-/
dont chance it......I would get 'put away'! Need my wits about me!
snaggy...I did try not to laugh......you could see it on my face...veins poppin all over the place.... :-(.....pmsl again...

and anyway....Ive done loads you can chuckle about.....not pysl...but chuckle....okay?.......:-)) x
Talking of which... 'Kevin' Nakajima had a good race on Sunday don't you think...
fook off.....lol...I was stoned.......

Yeh a good race......webber was **** hot..... :-))
2 years ago at Ascot. Never again will I drink on an empty stomach. In fact I am mostly tee-total now. The last time I had a drink was 2 months ago after an incident I was involved in on a bus.

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