Just seen my neighbour slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.
i asked him if he was ok ...He said he’ll be fine, he’s just going through a rough patch....
An elderly couple were in church..
The woman whispers to her husband, "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?"
He softly replied, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid."...
I took a girl home. We got kissing on the sofa and, before long, she became very excited She asked 'Shall we take this upstairs?' I said 'No, I'd rather we did it here' 'Oh', she winked. 'Something in...
I used to date a really hot woman!, she worked at the local supermarket petrol station.
It ended badly...
I can't help but fill up every time I go past the place....
I went back to the card shop yesterday and said, "Do you sell bereavement cards?"
"Yes we do." replied the assistant.
"Good," I said, "could I exchange this 'Get Well Soon' card for one?"...
Wish me luck. I'm off to speak to the bank manager today, and if things work out for me my life will change dramatically - I'm talking millions here. I'm so excited I can hardly get this balaclava...
A priest is driving along a country road when a copper pulls him over: 'Have you been drinking?' He asks. 'Just water' replied the priest. Cop says, 'So why do I smell wine?' Priest looks over at the...
