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Voltage

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Baldric
A man suggests to his wife, "Darling, shall we try swapping positions tonight." "That's a great idea," she replies. "Why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and break wind."...
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marval
My friend was very disappointed with his stag party. He asked for a night full of fit birds. Apparently the 2018 Doncaster pigeon race wasn’t what he had in mind....
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Patsy33
I'll start with one D.I.V.O.R.C.E Tammy Wynette....
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zabado
Waddingtons has brought out a new version of Cludo aimed at "swingers". It seems that everybody did it in every room....
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spathiphyllum
Are they acceptable, or bad taste?...
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Islay
4 days of diarrhoea, tried Imodium worked for about 6 hours, it’s leaving me very drained. Just ate a plain dinner of chicken and tomato and it’s gone straight through me. How long before I seek...
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MavisT
Glossy paper goes back for drill part (6) Unwritten & alien why? 50 is in Barclays! (8,5) See the mast? "er" mind your head! (10) Mr Autry has food share for sporting event (3,10,4) Car part has money...
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MavisT
Get this at a rocket launch
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Patsy33
I was just enjoying a banana and four halves of toast, when I had to go into another room to fetch a pen from my handbag. When I came back my two pieces of toast had disappeared. I know I only ate two...
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animids
12a. Chilliness, 3.2.3.3.. 1d, programme, 4. 2d, low quality.6.
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marval
I tried walking onto an army base. I was stopped by a guard, who was only 5 foot 4 inches. “Sorry,” he said, “you’re not allowed on here.” I thought, “He’s a little territorial.”...
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Patsy33
My Husband is annoyed because I've taken up dancing. He told me I was obsessed, dancing around the house all the time. He said that's all Ive got on my mind... I said. "There you go. Twisting it...
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dmbhunt
Daily Mail Smallest Boxer's extended arm (sl) i have P??P. Thanks D...
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marval
I told a local DJ that I had a large amount of rare vinyl. “Is there any chance that I could come round and have a look?” he asked. He didn’t look too impressed when I showed him my collection...
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Patsy33
I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”. I thought, “That’s a small price toupee”....
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Baldric
Because it scares their guide-dogs too much....
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spathiphyllum
... you can be sure of one thing... Either the car is new or the wife is....
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emmie
its blooming cold down here, what's it like at yours....
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Islay
Currently in the oven I have walnut apple and white stilton tart, and for dinner we are having gravalax and prawn salad. What about you?...

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