A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The...
Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Billy says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss...
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and Gordon Brown, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot Brown twice.
Fact: 79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse right now. Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing. Fact: 37,000,000 are getting/giving oral sex. Fact: 1 lonely bugg*r is reading This.. Hang in there...
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of lager, any kind except Fosters. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Fosters, don't you like it?" The man says, "I hate that stuff. Last...
A gynaecologist examines a lesbian and remarked "Madam that is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen" She replied "Thank you, I have a woman in twice a week !"
Man says to his girlfriend in the bedroom "I got some Olympic condoms for us to try out.. There's a gold one a silver one and a bronze one.. Should we try the gold one babe?" No she says "Try the...
The Ferrari Formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from...
1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round...
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these...
Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she...
A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint for himself and a half pint for Tiny, his lizard. The barman looks a little taken aback but serves him...
When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm...
