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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS

Beatles Fan...

My mate is the biggest Beatles fan in the world. He's got every single they made except one. I think he needs Help.!...
22:09 Sat 22nd Sep 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 18:44 Sun 23rd Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Doing 45Mph In 30Mph Zone?

What shall I expect not sure on new speeding regulations...
12:02 Sat 22nd Sep 201828 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 11:51 Mon 01st Oct 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Rip.....

The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died. RIP Scott Chegg....
19:01 Fri 21st Sep 201811 answers, last by DTCwordfan 12:09 Sat 22nd Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Due To High Winds....

Just wanna say a big thanks to Dave at number 26 for the gazebo,it looks lovely in my garden...
08:31 Fri 21st Sep 201811 answers, last by marval 17:06 Fri 21st Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Knock Knock....

Whoever invented the knock knock joke... Should get a Nobell prize....
18:45 Thu 20th Sep 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 22:40 Thu 20th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

My New Girlfriend....

My new girlfriend came up to me as I was stacking washing powder in Tesco. She said: “You lying sod, you told me you were a stunt pilot.” “No I didn’t” I replied, “I told you I was in the...
15:37 Thu 20th Sep 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 16:22 Thu 20th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

A Pirate Goes To The Doctors...

A pirate goes to the doctors... "Thar be strange moles on me back!" Doctor says, "They’re benign!" "Check again matey, I think thar be ten!"...
11:00 Thu 20th Sep 201821 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 14:31 Thu 20th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Police Search...

Police are searching for a mugger who threatens his victims with a lit match.. They need to catch him before he strikes again....
14:24 Tue 18th Sep 201811 answers, last by marval 17:55 Tue 18th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Wife At The Doctors..

My Wife said to the doctor "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep, what should I do?" Doctor: "Give him a chance to speak when he's awake."...
19:50 Mon 17th Sep 20187 answers, last by Shaglene 10:23 Tue 18th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

A 65 Year Old Woman...

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. On seeing God, she asked: "Is my time up?" God said: "No, you have...
09:12 Mon 17th Sep 20185 answers, last by elliemay1 11:38 Mon 17th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Group Of People..

I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over. "Out of the way!" I shouted, as I pushed through the crowd. "Are...
10:55 Sun 16th Sep 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:30 Sun 16th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

My Mate Just Phoned Me In Tears.

My mate just phoned me in tears. His wife just left him taking his Bob Marley CDs and the satellite dish. Poor sod. No woman no sky....
12:23 Fri 14th Sep 20185 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 16:20 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Two Italian Men...

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of...
19:01 Thu 13th Sep 20187 answers, last by dannyk13 09:18 Fri 14th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Dad..

Son: "Dad I've got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married 25 years." Dad: "never mind son Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."...
15:54 Thu 13th Sep 20187 answers, last by spathiphyllum 16:09 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

An Essex Girl

An Essex girl tells her mum she's pregnant. 'Congratulations', said her mum. 'Do you know who the father is?' 'Mum, if you ate a tin of beans, would you know which one made you fart?'...
11:57 Thu 13th Sep 20188 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 12:19 Thu 13th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

"racism"....

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?" The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended,...
16:25 Wed 12th Sep 20186 answers, last by marval 18:44 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Pet Shop....

I went to the local pet shop and said to the pet shop owner, "I want a taller stand for my parrot but I haven't much money. Can I get one and pay it off monthly"...? He replied, "We don't do higher...
16:02 Wed 12th Sep 20181 answer, last by marval 18:43 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

George The Postman ....

After 35 years, George the postman decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds. When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on...
12:00 Wed 12th Sep 20183 answers, last by zebo 15:36 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Leaning Tower Of Pisa

I bought my obsessive / compulsive mate a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa for his birthday. He's going mad trying to hang it straight....
10:17 Wed 12th Sep 201852 answers, last by ABSpareEditor 15:24 Wed 12th Sep 2018
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BANANASPLITS

Repairing Murphys Roof....

Paddy is repairing Murphy's roof when he starts feeling unwell. He shouts down to Murphy " I don't feel good, I've gone dizzy "its best to come down and go home ." Murphy says " Have you vertigo? "...
19:35 Tue 11th Sep 20182 answers, last by marval 21:56 Tue 11th Sep 2018

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