Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening and welcome to Nungate Towers for tonight's meeting of AB's Mad Over Fifties Club.
Igor is on standby at the entrance to welcome you and take care of your coats, cloaks and broomsticks all of which he will conceal in a variety of crooks and nannies throughout the Towers, whether they are seen again will be purely accidental!
Tonight's Tailcock will be the "Waterloo Sunset" a small tribute to the inimitable Ray Davies of the Kinks.
Our hot plate special tonight will be a Chicken Chasseur - you catch it and you can eat it!! Of course there will be the world famous (here at AB) volley vonts, canopies and horses doovers. On the pudding trolley we have a white chocolate bread and butter pudding (made with croissants for that continental touch [i and white chocolate chips)
Queenie sends her regrets, she is away from home this weekend staying with friends, her father and I are glad of the peace and quiet ....... [i] cricket.... cricket... cricket [i]
The Minstrels are back in the gallery all ready to start with their customary madrigals and toccattas ... [i] one of these days I'm going to loosen the screws on that gallery ..... ] Down in the Ballroom we have engaged the services of a wandering DJ or mobile Disco for those members wishing to dance, boogie whatever (just keep it on the vertical guys ok?)
The indoor pool is ready and waiting for members wishing a swim, the hot tub is still keeping him company as is the mini bar. The library is available for members, we have a great selection of books, magazines and periodicals, I understand we have had the latest edition of "Needlepoint for Wheeltappers" delivered - a right riveting read I'll be bound! I'm delighted to say that Triffid in the conservatory "enjoyed" the company of the person wearing the green hat .... don't know who it was but if they can collect their green hat from Belle in the vestibule otherwise it will be put in the Lost property Cupboard. I have asked nicely, Do Not Feed the
Triffid [i
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

[i] Would members please refrain from throwing litter into the moat, it gives the piranhas indigestion, thank you ]


carriages at midnight

[DaisyNonna]

It works well Igor.
Not jujubes, nun, Dolly mixtures.
Fed up of frozen cucumber.

[nungate]

what do you mean "get you into trouble?" Tony - don't you know you're already in the deep doo doo?

[pixie373]

Thanks nungate. That's kind. I'll have a bucket please, if that's ok? I'm aware i'm gatecrashing!

[tonyav]

Daisy, useful in the summer though, a cucumber ice lolly sounds like a real novelty.

[nungate]

Well, you could always use the frozen cucumber to chill a Pimms in summer Daisy. My friend likes to stick some grapes in the freezer, I used to freeze lemon slices for my g&t - well I didn't always have ice at the ready and I hate warm gin.....

[nungate]

Quite alright Pixie, Queenofmean gatecrashes here most weeks, but since she lives here I can't really ban her - believe me I've tried!! We can be very flexible on the rules. Igor will be along with your bucket shortly.

[DaisyNonna]

Defrosted lettuce is gross.

[Igor61]

Madame I have returned the key to the silver vault to its usual spot, I brought up a few more silver buckets.
I understand we have a new guest?

[nungate]

Thank you Igor, yes we have a new guest. Please take a bucket of tailcock to Madame Pixie, she's over there kissing Tony ........ feel free to interrupt!

[DTCwordfan]

Good evening to all, sweeps in with tails on

Mmmm roffle offerings

- one bucket for tony's doo doo
- one roll of toilet paper - old fashioned Jeyes that mushes everything up
- one toilet brush, four hairs on it
- one toothbrush, if the toilet brush fails
- one Twyfords urinal
- one bog chain, broken handle
- one flotation ball, bent bar
- one drainage pipe, cracked
- one ticket to the National Museum of Bog Cleaners

A bucket please, Igor, no holes in and lots of ice if I may.

[Igor61]

cough, cough, [i Your drink Madame Pixie.

[i] whispers to Tony, you have lipstick all over your face Tony, sir ]

[nungate]

I wouldn't have bothered to defrost lettuce, straight to the bin with it Daisy
doesn't freeze well!

[DaisyNonna]

Er, dare I mention the Rugby nungate? Thoroughly enjoyed watching Wales apart from watching poor Sam dislocate his shoulder.

[Igor61]

Your bucket DT sir, please note, Madame has had your bucket and Madame Daisy and Tony, sir's buckets engraved!

[pixie373]

Lol! Many thanks, Igor. Most kind :-)

[DaisyNonna]

Good evening Your Lordship DT. You do look smart. Going on somewhere?

[nungate]

Rugby? was there rugby on today? I was otherwise engaged this afternoon.....

[DTCwordfan]

Here in the Castle solitude, of this earthl sided box
Water is a tidal wave, when you drop in huge rocks
It gets you all wet, and drenches your seat
Then drips down your leg, all the way to your feet

I can feel the tremors, with everyone dropped
But this unloading, just can not be stopped
Now they're shooting out, like a thousand machine guns
I'd swear there was smoke, coming out of my buns

Then there's the smell, of dead food you might think
Enough to kill the witnesses, just by the stink
And when I'm all done, I'll have a frown on my face
Because the sated Piranhas were in the moat, put in their place.

[DaisyNonna]

Tangee Orange lipstick is sooo dated.

[DTCwordfan]

Just thought I would smarten myself up, Daisy, verse of the sewer, the looks of Astaire.