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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Patsy33
Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name? Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4....
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marval
I am a retired boxer and I am thinking of taking on golf as a hobby. Although many believe I should go into acting because apparently I am the only dog they know that can talk. My doctor’s surgery...
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maggiebee
Stupidity knows no boundaries but it knows a lot of people Where there’s a will there’s a relative The Pillsbury Doughboy is my roll model Pollen: When flowers can’t keep it in their plants...
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marval
I asked for chicken drummers, and I was given pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs? Where are the feathery musicians I requested? I have just found out my friend has had collagen implants, she has been...
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marval
There's an Irish contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? He doesn't know an answer. Jeremy says: "Don't forget you've got 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend." The Irishman says: "I'll...
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Chipchopper
Two wind turbines are stood it a field, and one says to the other "so what kind of music do you like". The other turns and replies: "I'm a big metal fan myself"...
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Canary42
. . . . acknowledges the result of another piece of his anatomy. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-47500372...
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Patsy33
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters..
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marval
I have got a lot of respect for organ donors. Those guys really put their heart into it. I got the bearded dragon a new tank today. My partner isn’t happy though, he doesn’t think it is an...
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Patsy33
My Doctor thinks I'm taking hallucinogenic drugs. How do I know? Let's just say, a little bird told me.......
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Chipchopper
I went to the optician's the other day, to get my eyes tested. It turns out I'm color blind, apparently. Well I can tell you, that came like a bolt, straight out of the red!...
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Patsy33
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap...
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maggiebee
A huge thank you to my neighbour who allowed me to borrow her large sheet of plastic covering. Ta Pauline...
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maggiebee
I married a pirate with a patch – the one eye love The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself To the thief who took my anti-depressants, I hope you’re happy Be careful tonight –...
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Theland
Man goes into a cake shop with a lion. Owner shouts," You can't bring that lion into my cake shop!" Man replies, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe, and this is not a cake shop, it's Answerbank!"...
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Theland
Man goes into bar with a giraffe and buys two drinks. Giraffe knocks it back and collapses on the floor. The barman exclaims, "You can't leave that lyin' on the floor." Man replies, "Not a lion, it's...
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Chipchopper
...the angry pancake ? . He just flipped.
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Patsy33
When our daughter was born, she seem to look all yellow and round. We called her Melonie...
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Patsy33
I was mugged at the train station today, and I burst out crying. A policeman came up to me and said, "I fining you". I said ,"For crying out loud!". He said, "Yes".....
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marval
A traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends early one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and Fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really upset if it's...

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