Donate SIGN UP

Chipchopper

181 to 200 of 1471

First Previous 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Next Last

Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Its So Easy

One of my better skills is sleeping, I'm a natural. I can do it with my eyes closed
08:59 Fri 02nd Dec 20223 answers, last by Bazile 11:27 Fri 02nd Dec 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Dr Told Me...

I was having trouble getting off to sleep at night, so I went along to see my doctor, and he told me to lay myself in a position on the edge of the bed, and I should soon drop off.
08:52 Sat 26th Nov 20222 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:03 Sat 26th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Its No Secret

I once had a towelling shirt, but I took a lot of flannel for it...
10:14 Thu 24th Nov 20224 answers, last by Hopkirk 14:55 Thu 24th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Thrown To The Lions

How did Spartacus feel after a lion ate his wife ?. He was gladiator...
09:17 Sat 19th Nov 20225 answers, last by Patsy33 12:32 Sat 19th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Fish Fish Fish

I've haddock to the gills with fish puns. People seem to say them just for the halibut...
14:30 Fri 18th Nov 202210 answers, last by DTCwordfan 22:07 Sun 20th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Sweet Peppers

The two survivors only got to 6" in my raised bed. I've now potted them up and returned them to the conservatory, where they started life, and I'm hoping they will over winter, and be ready to go next...
07:46 Fri 18th Nov 20223 answers, last by diddlydo 23:18 Fri 18th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Smokery

1st kipper: smoking is bad for your heath, donca know that ? 2nd kipper "it's okay, I have been cured"...
11:10 Thu 17th Nov 20222 answers, last by Ken4155 14:16 Thu 17th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Cheated

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turned out she was seeing someone else the whole time...
08:28 Mon 07th Nov 202222 answers, last by ZebuSanctuary 21:25 Mon 07th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Wrong Trolly

I wandered down the cheese aisle of my local supermarket in a dream-like state, and accidentally put my favourite Mexican cheese in someone else's shopping trolley. I was rudely brought to my senses...
09:20 Fri 04th Nov 20229 answers, last by Ken4155 13:07 Fri 04th Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

....And Why Not

I was walking past the police station yesterday when I saw a poster on the noticeboard saying "man wanted for robbery" So I decided to go in and apply for it....
09:32 Thu 03rd Nov 20222 answers, last by ZebuSanctuary 16:47 Thu 03rd Nov 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Feeding Time

My brother was arrested for feeding pigeons at the zoo. Apparently he was feeding them to the lions....
06:55 Sun 30th Oct 20222 answers, last by mallyh 07:49 Sun 30th Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

You Do The Math's

A teacher asked her class of seven-year-olds: "If I had 6 apples in one hand and 4 in the other, other, how many apples would have"? Little Johnny Was first to raise his hand, and says"very big hands,...
07:48 Sat 29th Oct 20226 answers, last by ZebuSanctuary 10:52 Sat 29th Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Best Of 7

Q) What day of the week do dogs look forward to most of all ? A) chewsday...
10:49 Tue 25th Oct 20224 answers, last by zebo 21:13 Tue 25th Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

You Have Mail

I had to quit my job working for the post office, the moment they handed me my first letter to be posted. I looked at it and I soon realised "this is not for me"....
09:35 Mon 24th Oct 20227 answers, last by davebro 10:01 Mon 24th Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Don't Blaim It On The Asteroids..

I heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten. It was a case of mass egg-stink-tion...
08:07 Sun 23rd Oct 202212 answers, last by Patsy33 10:11 Sun 23rd Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Not Amused

A man from Arbroath is taking his former employer at the travelling carnival to court for sacking him, claiming funfair dismissal...
07:58 Sat 15th Oct 202212 answers, last by Patsy33 11:24 Sun 16th Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Ristorante

I travelled across town to dine at my favourite Italian restaurant, but when I got there, there was a sign on the door saying "closed due to family bereavement" Apparently the head chef had pasta-way...
07:52 Mon 03rd Oct 20221 answer, last by emmie 07:55 Mon 03rd Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Shades Of...

I'm being pestered with phone calls and emails from the furniture shop. All I wanted was a one-night stand....
06:47 Sun 02nd Oct 202211 answers, last by Patsy33 11:55 Sun 02nd Oct 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Stupid Guy

Some annoying cold caller guy, phoned me and tried to sell me a luxury coffin. I told him, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that"...
07:55 Thu 29th Sep 20221 answer, last by 1ozzy 08:02 Thu 29th Sep 2022
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

My Vocation

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing
07:14 Mon 26th Sep 20226 answers, last by Arksided 12:12 Mon 26th Sep 2022

181 to 200 of 1471

First Previous 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Next Last