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Birds

I know birds are beautifuf creatures with all their exotic plummage etc, but why do they have to pooh continually on my garden fence furniture etc Why can't they save it all for David Attenborough's...

windycity8

buying a house

is it obligatory to have a survey done on a house that you see and like and you want to buy?

sandyRoe

How could someone get to Northern Spain, and back, without flying?

Leaving from London.

marval

Check your Dirty IQ!

Questions: 1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? 2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best...

wizard66

types of milk

What is the difference between pasturised, sterilised and uht milk? Also what type of these milks is used in cheese making? thanks guys....

pjgriffo

Misunderstanding

A guy on holiday in Spain went into a pharmacy and asked "do you sell viagra" She said-- "certainly sir." Can I get it over the counter? he asked. For that , she said, you'd have...

mrs_nordling

Badge slogans needed!

I've got a badge making machine, and badges with slogans on are always popular. Can anyone think of any funny, not too long slogans? No rude slogans needed, thank you, and examples of my current ones...

bigfoot3000

10 subtle ways to tell a man his fly is unzipped

WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED 1. "The cucumber has left the salad." 2. "Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out." 3. "Your soldier ain't so...

Seafarer1966

Francais

What's the difference between Thierry Henry and Lenny Henry? Thierry is still phuqqin french.

R1Geezer

Shadow home secretary comment...

Wel should B&B / Hotels have the choice not to have gays stay?

mollykins

Only letter not on peridoic table of elements

I was doing some revision, and whilst looking on a periodic table of elements i realised that there is no j on the p.t.o.e. I am i right or did i miss something, i'm sure i checked the lanthanoids and...

babycaketoots

Does he fancy me? Should I make a move?

Im 28 and back at uni for the 2nd time. The term has almost ended for the year and I noticed this guy staring at me last week. Now that Iv noticed Im beginning to think about him alot ! Last week he...

R1Geezer

Banning smoking in cars + areas where children are...

Further attacks on the social lepers, or sensible measures? I must admit I do feel sorry for the kids I see in the backs of cars, in a safety seat of course, gasping for breath, getting gassed by...

Avatar

Allotment Joke No. 3

Someone has mysteriously dumped a load of belgian animal p0rn on my allotment..... The plot sickens....

Zeuhl

The Amazing Mr Izzard

Have you been following Eddie Izzard's progress around Britain as he runs to raise money for Sports Relief? If you haven't, he's running 43 Marathons at a rate of one a day, six days a week for seven...

david56

luck

is it good or bad luck if a blackbied comes down the chimney?

himanshu1988

how many tigers are left in india

ahmskunnirt

Harmless Burglars To Be Spared Jail.

A Government advisory body, The Sentencing Advisory Panel, has recommended that burglars who merely steal, as opposed to those who also injure victims, ought not to go to jail. This, despite the fact...

bookbinder

Curly-haired boy.

This is alleged to be true. It's parents' evening at a primary school. The headteacher is talking to a single mum who is known to have had many boyfriends, and thus she has many children. The...